I kind of think this might be a little triggering so be warned! Even though it's a little bit cliche. I loved this request. I hope you love it too! Ara~
I can feel all their stares, I can hear all their whispers. I see them falling to my feet, I see them opening their mouths, rejecting their old thoughts forgetting they once made fun of me.
I didn't do much, just changed my glasses to a pair more fashionable. Chanyeol suggested some while Sehun bought me new clothes, less nerdy-like. I did my hair too, no big change, just different haircut, more idol-like. I'm probably not like one of those k-pop idols girls like, but I'm definitely not the old nerd boy people liked making fun of.
"Xiumin..." I hear some next to me whisper, I hear her whisper. I want to look, see the look on her face as I pass by, but Baekhyun told me to hold my head high and ignore her, just like she did. I don't know how I did it, but I managed to walk to my classroom without giving her a glance, without running away with tears in my eyes. I wasn't sure if this was the right thing to do, but for once I want to walk with confidence, without girls making fun of me. For once I want to be desired, I want people to know I'm not just all books and that.
"You seem so interesting... let's go out" "I know I'm always hanging out with the 'cool' guys... but the truth is that I always had a crush on you" "Why are you blushing? Am I blushing too?" "Is this your first kiss? Did I do good?" "This is the first time a boy has been this nice to me" "My chest hurts when I'm with you, you turned out to be so nice" "I'm sorry I have to go" "All this... this was..." "A bet"
I'm not going to lie and say it didn't hurt when she left, when she told me all that happened between us was a lie. I saw it coming, but I didn't want to believe she could be capable of doing such things. No matter how much my friends warned me, I didn't want to hear. I wanted to give her a chance, I wanted to be loved once. We made beautiful memories, even if they were fake. When I look back, I could bet that sometimes she truly meant it. It sounds lame but I can't lie to myself and say it didn't mean anything. Because it did, I fell in love with the most popular girl at school. Even when she was out of my league, even if I was one of her victims.
Revenge is definitely not the best way to deal with those kind of feelings. But I wanted her to regret what she did, to see that even if I'm just the nerdy boy of the class, I do have feelings too. When I asked the boys to help me change, look more fashionable, I told them I wanted to become the one boy she would never have, even if I was madly in love with her. She had me once, but she didn't want me.
"Xiu? Hey.... look at you... is this what they call a... break up change?" She was sitting in front of me, ignoring the bell had rang and the class was going to start in a few minutes. "Maybe. But who cares? You definitely don't..." I tried to sound as calm as possible, but my selfish being wanted her to feel some sort of guilt. I couldn't help it, even I have a human nature. "I told you I was sorry Minnie... it was a bad taste joke I know but... I had fun with you" "The thing is that it wasn't about fun, it was something serious. But it doesn't matter anymore, it's all in the past" Maybe I was trying too hard to sound like I didn't care, maybe I sounded a bit rude or indifferent. Maybe I was starting to look like those popular people that I didn't like. But it was so hard to not break in front of her and tell her that I loved her. It was so hard being in love with the girl that enjoyed hurting others. "Was this because of me Xiu?" She sounded sorry, she sounded like she meant it. Yet I couldn't believe her. She hadn't spoken to me after that, it took a big change on my style for her to talk to me. "No. I just don't want people to make fun of me anymore. I'm not a toy to play with. Now, class is about to start and-" "-Let's go out. This time for real, no jokes, no bets"
Kris, had warned me that this was going to happen. I thought he was being delusional but now that I see her here, begging for me to come back, I think back and remember what Kris said. Do not say yes, don't even think of it. You might love her, you might want her, you probably will live with it. But man... if she didn't want you then why will she want you now?
"Say... if I were to look just the same I did before, would you be asking me this?" "Of course! Minnie! I told you before, no one had ever been that nice to me" I smiled and stroked her cheek just like I did before when we were 'dating'. No matter how much harm she had made me, I couldn't be rude or bad to her. But I also couldn't be like that with me, for once I had walked with confidence and I wasn't going back. "You know, it was nice even if it was a lie. It was nice getting to know you because even if you were pretending to like me you were also showing me your true self. It was nice knowing that I didn't have feelings for a robot-like-girl. You aren't like they say you are and I'm glad.
But I can't date you. You gave me confidence but now it's my time to choose. You chose me as your game but nothing else. I'll choose too, but when I do I'll mean it. Because my looks might be a thing to make fun of but not my love"
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