Big Girls Don't Cry

Chapter 4: Lactic Acid

After lots of begging, pleading and whining, Dame finally got me to skip school today. 

"Skipping is healthy sometimes. I doubt we're gonna miss something anyways."

I had never skipped school a day in my life, and since knowing him I've already missed two days in the first week.

Not only did he want me to skip, but he wanted to ditch class to go to the gym. Just thinking about me running on a treadmill made me cringe. The only reason why I agreed is because I wanted change for myself.

"If we do what we need to do in the gym, by winter break, you'll be almost half your size."

I was a good two hundred and fifty pounds and hearing that I could be half of that in a couple months gave me hope. If I could lose the weight then I would feel confident and maybe even beautiful.

I had begun picturing a future image of myself in my head. She was thin and sexy. She wore heels everyday to school and skirts. Everyone wanted to be her friend, and boys like Joe would lust after her. Everybody wanted to be her.

"Let's do it."

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The gym wasn't packed, thankfully. Dame knew a friend that worked here, so he got me a free membership. Dame was pretty impressed with himself.

"I would finesse anyone for you." He joked. We both laughed, and I rolled my eyes.

We walked to the back of the gym where there seemed to be less machines.

"Okay, we need to weigh you. Get on the scale."

"I rather not."

"Why?"

"Because I don't want you knowing my weight." Dame looked irritated.

"I do have eyes and a brain ya know. I already know what you roughly weight just by looking at you. No need to be so insecure."

Embarrassed, I looked at the ground. I didn't know what to say. Dame sighed.

"I'm sorry. I'm being insensitive. I just feel like you should know by now that I would never judge you. Just trust me, okay." I nodded, and still avoided eye contact. "You can weight yourself, and write the results on this paper. Meet me by the treadmills when you're done." He walked away. I could tell he was frustrated.

I felt bad, but I really didn't want him knowing my weight. I didn't even want to know my weight. After a few minutes of sulking, I gained some courage and took my jacket and shoes off. I stepped on the scale and looked in the mirror while it ran my measurements.

My hair, in its usual bun, was frizzy, being that I didn't wash it this morning. My eyes had prominent dark circles which gave away that I didn't get much sleep last night.

How could I? The boy I'm obsessed with, told me he feels the same way.

I was so happy and overwhelmed that my heart nor my mind could stop thinking about Dame. We hadn't talked about anything since the talk last night, so I didn't know where we stood exactly.

I took in the number on the scale and wrote it down in the September slot on the paper. I was two hundred and two pounds. I tried not to think about that number too hard. I gave myself one last glance in the mirror.

When I got near the treadmills, I noticed Dame talking to another girl. She was all smiles and laughter as they spoke. So was Dame. I watched him place his hand on her hip. I was so confused. Obviously they were flirting. Friends didn't touch each other like that. Dame pulled out his phone and gave it to her. I didn't understand how someone could be so insensitive. He knew that I was in the gym and could potentially see them so I was confused on his intentions. At this point I didn't know what to think and questioned if he even genuinely liked me. I felt cold inside.