Kaleidoscope

|| Chapter 12: Simpler Times ||

Authors Note: Above is what I picture Florence's mom to look like, I picture Lee to look like Denise Richards/Yolanda Hadid (with blonde hair and green eyes). 

Florence

In the months to come, my mom's condition got worse. As my freshmen year came to a close, she could no longer live at home with us. She was to reside in her private room at the Huntington Hospital, all the way over in Pasadena. It's not too bad of a drive, and we tried to make it as comfortable as possible for her, but there isn't much to work with at the hospital. 

My father is having the surgeon from Texas flown in to operate, he'll be using their OR. We're hoping for the best, but you never know how these things will go.

My mom has been putting a brave face on for all of us, but I know that she's in a lot of pain. I can see it in her eyes. It's just not fair that this is happening to her. 

I want to say, this isn't supposed to happen to people like us. This isn't supposed to happen to good people. But cancer it doesn't discriminate. It doesn't matter if you're in jail for homicide, or Mother Teresa – cancer just doesn't care. All the money in the world can't even save you, though that hasn't really clicked for my dad yet. 

I think he's gotten so used to being able to use his money to fix any problem, that he thinks he can use it for this too. But, again cancer doesn't care. 

I haven't been able to pretend like this wasn't my reality for some time now, actually seeing my mom suffer in front of my own eyes, paired with all of my friends knowing what was going on. It has been hard to put up a front. But, I still don't like to talk about it. So, I just throw on my mask and smile through my troubles and worries. 

It was the summer now, so my days consisted of visiting my mother at the hospital and spending as much time with her as I could. My mother was a popular woman so there was always someone ready to visit her, and her room was always filled with fresh flowers and treats. But, most days, even though she tried her best, she just didn't have the energy to engage with me or anyone for that matter. She was in too much pain. 

Her chemotherapy seemed to be doing it's job according to her oncologist. But, it wasn't saving her. Our main hope was her upcoming surgery. 

When I wasn't with my mother, I was with my friends. But I guess you could say I wasn't really with them, just merely present. I felt like a shell, I would smile and laugh and crack jokes – but it all felt hollow. And I think they could tell. 

Marcus and I are still dating, but I'm not into it the way I used to be. 

He still takes me out and I will have a good time. Our last date we went to a carnival, a few towns over. He won me a teddy bear, we made out at the top of the ferris wheel, and shared a bag of cotton candy. It was cliche, cute, and cheesy. Essentially everything a girl should want. But, it only made me feel guilty. 

Here I was out having fun while my mother rots away in her hospital bed. 

"So how are things with Marcus?"

I sigh, "I don't know Emily, our relationship has been strained for sure. But, it's mostly my fault. He knows what's going on but I haven't really been talking to him about it."

"Florence!" Aria exclaims.

I put my hands up in a surrender, "I know, I know but it feel too personal to share with him."

Emily strokes my hair, "No I get that, but he is also your boyfriend..."

"Honestly it's fine," Aria scowls, "I mean everyone basically knows what with the harpies at school. You're allowed to keep some things to your self."