Do I Wanna Know

Chapter 18

It's been a week since Cam's passing. I haven't seen anyone cry since Saturday. Of course, not counting Sunday, since I didn't go to the funeral and see anyone.

Something I haven't seen is Cherish. Forest said she was fine so why hasn't she been in school? She's probably still mourning.

I walk to my locker before going to lunch. There, I meet up with Mharic.

"Hey," I greet as she approach, "where's Tom? I haven't seen him since the wake."

When I mention Tom, her face made a frown, probably worried.

"He's been skipping school," she replies. "Traumatized."

That's probably how Cherish is, too.

"Oh."

We start walking to the lunch room. The crowd of people in the hallway starts to thin as the next bell prepares to ring.

When we reach our table in the lunch room, I drop off Mharic and my backpack to go to the lunch line.

From my eye, everyone is acting normally. Even the "Popular" table, where Cam used to sit and where Tom sits, and the "Popular Bitches" table, where Cherish and her bitchy friends sit.

No one even mentions a word about Cam or Cherish or Tom.

I pay for my lunch at the end. I haven't realized that this has been my first school lunch since months. I haven't realized that I was hungry.

My hands shake slightly every time I take a step, shaking my tray. I sit down on my specific seat and start munching.

"Whoah, calm down," Rittiny says to me.

"Sorry. I haven't eaten proper lunch lately. Or much of proper food." I grab my Granny Smith apple and take a sour, juicy bite out if it. Then I start eating the pasta.

When I look up from my food, I realize that none if the guys are with us today.

"Hey, where are the boys?" I ask.

"Well, it's been getting warm so they start hanging outside to the track and the park," Dysney answers.

Silence in out table starts. This never happened before. Maybe it's because all the conversations in our heads are about Cam. They probably don't want to run water from their eyes anymore.

After about 10 minutes of wasted time, Addym starts to spark up a conversation.

"Remember to wear pink tomorrow," she says.

"On Thursdays, we wear pink," Dysney adds. She smiles.

•••

I wear a pink bracelet today. I don't bother to put on a whole outfit of pink and I don't want anyone to be reminded too much about the situation.

When I enter school, it isn't quiet like it was last week. It isn't lacking of students. Because they want to be strong and are telling themselves that once dead, they're dead.

I don't think people are going to keep up "pink for Cam". I should just leave it that way and follow their lead.

If today is compared with last week, it's obvious that today is a better day. It's a good thing they're trying to cope. This is a learning process that they have to get used to for the next times that someone dies.

I surrender my problematic investigation to the inconclusive death accusations and leave it at that. People should just forget about the reason.

It's harsh for me to keep "investigating" and asking people questions, reminding them of the situation. It's okay now. They're dealing with it. I don't need to hurt them more than they are already.

That's it, then. No more stone hearted investigations and no more reminder of the causes. Case closed.

A.N.

It's been a while since I updated, sorry. I've just been stuck and glued to Netflix due to post-summer blues and addiction.

I know that it's a very sucky chapter and don't expect my writing to be better nor much longer. I just want to finish this book so I can start a new, different, and hopefully better book.

~❤