"The tragedy of life is not death...but what we let die inside of us while we live" -Normal Cousins
Chapter I
Hoshina's POV
I woke up facing my ceiling. The same ceiling I see every morning. Should I say, 'Good morning'? Or should I say 'why' ?
Cold breeze brushed my cheek swaying away my hair behind , sun have already risen lighting up the world, sea waves became a little aggressive than how it were during the midnight and I can hear chirping sound from the birds and its flapping wings. I Love their natural sound except I can also hear the passing vehicles and the busy street full of people, The sounds I hate the most.
*ding*
Oh my phone, What do you need from me? I looked down to see who messaged and saw the group chat my classmates created.
~Group chat~
Class prez : guys don't be late because we will be having an important seminar ! 15 minutes late is considered absent!
Classmate 1 : please participate!
Classmate 2 : don't let our adviser down guys.
~end of chat~
School... one of the things I hate the most but what I must attend to. School, school, school , school. I should be going... you should really go hoshina. Stop slacking off and be normal ! This is why you are not loved! Because you can't even be as responsible as they are! Just Go!!!! Go! Go! Gooo!!! Stand up ! Stand upppp!!
I tried to stand up but my body refuse to do so. I feel like crying but that won't help me become a better person. How do people keep going on the same path even when they don't want to? How do people keep their head up when they feel the burdens on their shoulders??How do people keep their mind silent...when everything feels so wrong.
Or is it just me?
Shut up hoshina! Just go...
I stood up and took one step but my body started to tremble but decided to keep going. I kept trying to take another step and another step but why do I feel so empty and emptier with each step I take? Why is it so hard....?
I fell down on the floor overwhelmed and slowly hugging my self.
It's not like someone will miss me if I don't go , it's not like they would notice me gone but I bet they will be surprised if I go and be like ,
"woowww! You're around! Thought you'd be absent today too cause you're always absent."
....
"Hahahaha weird. "
"Why are you only around during wednesday? "
It's not like It's intentional and it's not ALWAYS Wednesday..
"Ms. Moonlight why are you always absent ? You're behind my class now and You won't pass if you keep this up."
I know...
"You were absent again? Stop being absent!"
I know... I know...
I know.. believe me, I know.
I stood up again and took one step at a time. I went to the bathroom to shower but I kept staring at the steady water.
It's amazing how water can reflect my face and the surroundings. Transparent but just like mirror, it reflects. It reflects how stupid I look. I smashed my reflection with my fist and started washing my body slowly.
I don't want to go out... I don't want to see any eyes and any human figure. I don't want to.. I really don't want to..but I should really go.
I stood up and wiped my body. grabbed my uniform and put it on. Without brushing my hair I touched my doorknob.
Do I have to..?
"Rei.. Should I go?"
"...."
"I really should, right?" I asked him again.
"...maybe" he replied.
"Will you be with me?"
"Yeah"
I opened my door and stepped out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I arrived in school looking down. Regretting why I came. Wishing my day would just go smoothly but no, my adviser saw me and stopped me.
"Oh wow! I'm glad you FINALLY came to school! I thought you'd be absent today as well" she said quite loudly.
I feel shamed but I guess my fault for being here. I knew this would happen why did I even bother to come? But I guess I have to keep going. This too would pass...
I went to find an empty seat after being scolded by my adviser but unfortunately there was none so, I decided to sit under the tree. Perfect place for someone like me.
"You're late too?"
Oh! It's my classmate I don't remember who.
"..yeah"
"You should have just be absent! Like you always do! LOL!" I saw him rolled his eyes and this place started to feel uncomfortable. Where can I escape? Is there an exit button or at-least a time machine to go back to my room and press pause forever?
I stood up and started walking away.
"Where are you going?"
why are you asking? You don't care anyway?
"Umnn.. ahm"
I ran away acting like theres an emergency at home and went home.
Today too, I failed and cried.
"Rei.. I'm tired."
"yeah, I know" he patted my head.
"Want to draw with me?" I asked
"I rather sleep" he gave me one last pat and lied on my bed to sleep and I grabbed my painting materials and decided to paint, The Noise. Portraying the tree I sat at and the people who made noises but with a girl sitting under the tree and a man who was brighter than other people, Rei.
The friend only I can see.
