Loss Of The Stars

Chapter 8

(Nagisa POV)

"Okay." He smirked. "Would you rather party for the rest of your life, or be boring , like reading, for the rest of your life?"

I made a pout, resting my chin on my palm. "I'd rather read, thanks."

The redhead gasped. "You would rather be boring? Oh my god, Pretty Boy. Just why."

"I like reading. It lets me imagine myself in a better life...it lets me escape from the chains holding me down." I said, before placing on a smile. "My turn. Would you rather be a rich boy with an ugly appearance, or a poor boy with beautiful features?"

"Well," he chuckled. "I am devilishly handsome if I do say so myself." He made a pose which made me snort.

"My god, Skyscraper, you're so full of yourself." I giggled, he did the same.

"What? Don't you agree that I'm handsome?" He asked, a dangerous look in his eyes.

"Um..." My face burned. "Just answer the question."

He also rested his chin on his palm, his other hand swirling the straw in his drink. "I'd rather be ugly and rich, I could help so many people with a lot of money, and I could get myself any guy I want." He said. "Besides, no matter how hard I tried, I could never be ugly."

Huh? I choked on my drink just as I was about to swallow. "You like guys?" I asked in an incredulous tone.

He seemed surprised for a second. "Shit, I said that out loud." He sighed. "But, yeah I do, always have. Girls are too much of a hassle anyway."

I felt my face heat up even more, I looked away, I'm sure as hell that I'm blushing right now.

"Blue?" He called out, a questioning tone as he did so. "Something tells me you like guys too..?"

Ah fuck it. "Um, sorta?" A sigh escaped my lips my eyes closing as I rubbed my temple. "Yes, I do. Ever since I was twelve."

"Why haven't you said anything?"

"I've never said anything to anyone because I have nobody to tell, not even my parents know...mom is pretty much a homophobic."

I blinked my eyes open, staring at Skyscraper. "Oh that sucks man. Well, I basically confessed to being gay. My parents know about that, they treat me like shit because of it."

A nervous laugh broke through. "Yeah... I'm not planning on coming out of the closet any time soon."

He made a face. "Not to be rude or anything, but you shouldn't care about what your mom might think or say. You be you, that's what I did. It's worth it, trust me. I get to make my folk's lives a living hell with my mere presence. Hilarious." He grinned, and I swear I saw a pair of devil horns sprouting from his head.

'Yeah but, I only care about what mom would do to me if she ever found out.'

I saw how the redhead put on the face of an innocent child for a moment, his hands intertwining under his chin as he stared at me, his elbows against the table.

The waiter came back with our meals, and placed them in front of us,  thanked him and gave him a tip, then proceeding in plopping a sushi in my mouth.

"So~" he said, taking a bite of his meal, speaking right after swallowing. "Since you like guys too...you wouldn't mind if I flirted with you from time to time, right?"

OH MY GOD. My face felt like it was boiling! Do I answer? Do I even want to answer?! Did he seriously just ask that? Fuck, I'm speechless!

"Well..?"

"Oh um...n-no..." Am I really okay with it? "I wouldn't...I wouldn't mind at all. It'd be nice..."

His face had 'surprise' written all over it, then he looked away with pink cheeks, a shy smile tugging at his lips.

We ate in silence, a comfortable silence. The food was amazing, he said so too. I'm glad I had he chance to enjoy myself for once in my life. Things like these hardly ever happen. Meeting a good looking stranger at a grocery store, then meeting him again at school, end up ditching school with him. This isn't me, but I liked it.

To top it all off, he's genuinely interested in me. I can tell. I paid for the meals just as I promised I would, and we stayed chatting about random shit that popped in our heads.

"If you ever got a boyfriend, would you tell your parents about your relationship?" He asked while I ate the fortune cookie that were given to us, not forgetting to throw away the little paper.

"No, never." I replied. "I don't want my life to be worse as it already is."

"But--"

"It's so hard living a life of constant hell, Skyscarper. Being bullied, getting beat up, laughed at....and all because of what? For looking like a girl? If people found out about my sexuality, how do you think that would end up? That would give them another reason to hurt me, my mom is no exception."

"Wait what do you--"

"I'm never good enough for people, but I'm okay with that. It's my life, not theirs, I live how I want. I don't understand why they keep doing what they're doing... If they have no business getting in my life."

"Listen--"

"I wish I could just say 'if you don't like it, fuck off' but I can't. I don't have the courage to say that. I'm weak, I admit that, I'll always be weak. But I don't want to be..."

"Bluebell, why are you..?"

My eyes stung as I took in a shaky breath. "I don't know why I'm telling you this. I only met you twice, and I don't even know your name." I mumbled. I wasn't even looking at him anymore, instead I stared down at my lap, folding and unfolding my hands repeatedly.

"Hey, it's okay y'know, things will get better."

"No, they won't." I said. "They won't unless I disappear, things are way worse at home."

"Oh come on, it can't be that bad--"

"Can't be that bad? Do you even know what it's like to have an abusiv--" I slapped a hand over my mouth, cutting myself off before I can say another word. I didn't realize the tears that leaked from my eyes until I felt a thumb wiping them away, he was staring at me with the warmest eyes I've ever seen.

The thought of him finding out about mom scared me, I pushed him away. "S-sorry, I need...I need to go. Bye."

I stood up, ready to leave, but a hand grabbed my wrist. "Blue, wait, it's okay. You don't have to tell me."

"Please let go."

He led me out of the restaurant, after thanking the staff for their service, and beginning to walk down the sidewalk. His grip on my hand was firm, but not harmful.

"I won't let go." He said, making my stomach do summersaults. "Do you want to do something spontaneous for tonight?"

'I just want to disappear from shame, I almost confessed to suffering from child abuse.'

"No...not really. But...I feel as if you won't take no for an answer." I wiped the tears from my cheek, sniffling a bit. "So yeah, I guess."

"Perfect."