Lovesick the Series : The Declaration

6 - Guilt

Next morning, both hurried to school and disappeared into the familiarity of their own group of friends. Noh was more tolerable to look at now. He looked like his old usual self. Ohm noticed the glow and questioned why he came along with Phun. Noh pretended not to hear and slipped into a banter with his other friends Per and Film. Ohm quietly eyed him. Yes, that guy spent the night at Phun's and it clearly showed.

Phun and Noh crossed paths in corridors and the cafeteria a couple of times but they both behaved like they always did. A wave, a smile and a courteous Hi! They didn't attract too many eyes. Ohm was the only one who noticed his best friend being a little more cautious around Phun than usual. When the day ended and all those who usually hung around the music club went home including Ohm, Noh was just ensuring all the instruments were in place when the door opened slowly. Instead of looking at the door, he pretended to stay busy and ignored the intruder. The steps slowly dragged towards him as Noh smiled. Was Phun trying to scare him? AAAaaarrrrggghhhhh", Noh leaped around to counter-scare Phun, except he came face to face with Earn. 

Earn flinched and then broke into a soft giggle at the childish behavior, that he so loved about Noh - "Am I supposed to get scared?" he cheekily said. Noh was embarrassed and put up a smile to cover all awkwardness. "What are you doing here friend?" He stressed on 'Friend'. 

"You don't have to make it so obvious Noh, I know I am just your 'friend'', Earn said as he took a seat on the worn out sofa of the music club. Noh continued to keep his focus on Earn, a bit dazed but he knew Earn wasn't just here to make small conversation out of the blues.

"Earn, I haven't seen you around in a while - how are things? I've been busy with the concert coming up and then there is Ohm's party at the end of this week." He explained fast and in one breath.

"I've been doing good. Did a reality check on myself and I know where I stand with regards to our friendship and Phun. You have my good wishes. I guess things are official about you and Phun. That's all the talk these days everywhere and I thought I'd come to congratulate you."

Noh nodded at the explanation of the surprise visit. He smiled and was about to head towards the door to go home "But I have something to tell you Noh". Noh winced. He didn't want to hear anything else and just wanted to go home. "Earn, its getting late. Let's talk on our way out." Noh tried to stay calm. It was the best he could do. 

Earn followed Noh out of the room into a balmy evening. Was it 7 already? Noh had lost track as he glanced at his watch to show that he was in a hurry so that Earn could just make his statement and leave him. Earn put his hands on Noh's shoulder from behind to slow him down. Noh didn't want to turn around. They stayed still for about 3 seconds before Earn uttered, "You may want to tell Phun to check on Aim before she leaves the country. One of my friends in Convent, in the same class as Aim said she was leaving the country because she is pregnant. Noh, I am not close to Phun and this is none of my business but since you're involved with him, I thought I should at least let you know."

Noh felt like he was struck with lightning. Everything after the word 'pregnant' was a blurry sound. He swallowed to drown the humming sound in his ears. All his suspicion the night before, his confession despite the dubious mind and everything that he wanted to ignore and forget about Phun's relationship with Aim - it was vocalized so easily by Earn. Noh suddenly felt an urge to punch Earn for gossiping like an old maid and tattling him on Phun. Earn had no right and no business to bring this up at all. Noh turned around and shoved Earn before giving him the death glare. Earn was a strong boy and fell two steps back before he controlled his fall and looked on as Noh stormed out of sight into the darkness just around the corner, without saying a word. He called out after Noh a couple of times but silence was all he got.

Earn kicked himself for bringing it up. He was only concerned about Noh. He didn't care two bits about Aim or Phun or the baby. When he heard from Fairy Angel gang about Phun and Noh being an official pair, his concern for Noh deepened a little more than the usual. He didn't want to see Noh hurt and it took him few good days to summon all the courage and determination to mention it to Noh. Now he was regretting. He punched the wall before he walked away from the scene, unaware that a figure hiding behind the pillar was listening to them. 

Phun emerged from behind the pillar. His eyes were red - it was pain and anger fused with hurt. Guilt. He regretted not talking to Aim. He should have. He should have stopped Noh when he confessed. That confession took a lot out of Noh. He needs to set things right. He needs to ensure Noh is alright. He needs to clarify things with Aim. He loved Noh too much. The guilt. IF the baby was his... he had no right to accept Noh's love.