being a grier

chapter nine

i had finally gotten back to the hotel and the boys were freaking out. especially nash and hayes. i knocked on the door and someone swung it open. i was suddenly pulled into a hug but, i didn't know who it was. i hugged them back being comfortable with hugging all of the boys now. they let go but still held my shoulders. it was shawn.

"we all thought you got into an accident." he said as more boys started to come to the door to see who shawn was talking about. "kai!" hayes yelled running towards me. "hey bub." i said pulling him into a hug. he started crying into my chest as i rubbed his back.

"we thought something happened." hayes said as i felt him hug me harder. "i'm ok hayes. i just needed a few minutes." i said trying to calm him down. "kai it's seven o'clock. you left at five thirty." nash said as i inhaled sharply. i didn't even know i was gone that long.

"i'm ok. just an attack. i'm ok now." i explained as nash raised his eyebrows. "later." i mouthed to him as he nodded his head. hayes finally let go. "i think it's been a late night for every one i think we should all go to bed." shawn suggested as i nodded immediately.

"thanks shawn." i said yawning. "night everyone." hayes said as everyone left our room except for hayes, carter and i. earlier johnson and i had switched because of the cameron incident but, now that we have all of that figured out.

"are you ok kai. you really scared us." carter said gently. i barely have gotten to talk to carter this stop but, we were roomies so we knew a few things about each other. "ya. a couple years ago i was diagnosed with anxiety. and it went away but, i guess everything that's been going on overwhelmed me." i explained opening my suitcase.

"i have anxiety attacks too. if you ever need anyone to talk to i'm here for you." carter said as i thanked him. i grabbed my pajamas which consisted of nash's over sized hoodie and gym shorts. i changed into those and brushed my teeth along with washing my face. despite the coffee i had a few hours ago i was exhausted. i plopped into bed and drifted to sleep.

~

i woke up to hayes lightly shaking my shoulders. "kai were going to the airport soon." hayes said as i slowly rose from my bed. "thanks hayes." i said still mentally exhausted from the attack yesterday. usually it took me a day or two to recover from it and go back to normal.

"are you ok kai. you scared me a lot late night." hayes said sitting on the edge of my bed. "ya just the attack drained me. you know how it goes." i sighed pulling him into a hug. he instantly hugged back. "just talk to me if you need anything kai." hayes said muffled into my shoulder. "i will thanks hayes." i said letting go of him.

"the guys are downstairs. i'll meet you down there for breakfast." hayes said getting up to leave. "can you please wait for me and walk down with me." i asked as he nodded his head. "you're the best." "better then nash?" he asked grinning. "shhhh." i hushed as he laughed. i grabbed my outfit that i had layed out last night for the airport today.

it was a black tight vneck with black leggings and my white converse. i brushed out my hair as i slid a orange beanie over my head. i grabbed my backpack and suitcases. "aw i like that outfit it's cute." hayes said as i smiled. he always knew how to make me feel better.

"thank you." i smiled. "that's the smile we all love to see. come on this morning we're eating waffles." hayes said quoting shrek. i pulled him into another hug as i heard him laugh. "come on dork." he said lightly pushing me running down the hallways.

i followed him as we descended down the elevator and met the boys for breakfast. my appetite was completely gone so i only grabbed a glass of milk. "come on kai. you gotta eat. here i got you a waffle." nash said handing me a plate. "i'm not hungry nash." i groaned. "you still need to eat. please. if not for me then for hayes." nash said motioning to our little brother who was smiling and laughing with cameron.

that little boy was full of joy. he's too precious for this world. "only for you two." i said grabbing the plate making my way over to the tables. i chose an empty table as i sat down alone. i ate my breakfast in silence. i hadn't had an attack in so long it felt weird to be in the position again. i couldn't wrap my mind around that this might be the new normal for me.

i mean it was for a few months. i slowly ate my food as i closed my mouth in between bites. "is this seat taken?" someone asked as i looked up to see shawn. "it's all yours." i said lightly smiling looking back down at my food. "are you feeling better?" shawn asked as i nodded shoving another bite in my mouth.

it was silent for a few moments before shawn placed his hand on top of mine. "kai. i just want you to know that i'm here for you as your best friend. maybe not now we'll be best friends. but i know that sometimes you need other people who aren't your siblings to talk to."shawn said smiling. "thanks shawn." i replied continuing to eat.

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short chap. just wanted to update for you guys so here it is