The boy from cruise

chapter 7

Chapter 7 (Magnus' POV)
Did I make him upset? Oh no. He was gone. Should I go after him? Please help! Is this my fault? Maybe if I go after the boy he will hate me or I'll make it even worser than I already did by now. Ok, I'll stay here. "M-A-G-N-U-S!" I was in a whole different world so I didn't hear what Ragnir said to me. "Yes?" "Are you evem listening? Is something bothering you? " "I'm just a bit distracted by something. That's all" "oh. I see. Do you need someone to take over your shift for a while?" "No, thanks. Well maybe a few minutes would be great. Is that alright?" "For you always my shiny boy!" I couldn't help but chuckle a bit from the 'shiny boy' thing. "It seems like I have a new nickname" I said than run of searching for the alec boy.... I am already walking for 10 minutes but I can't find him. I am getting worried. I am getting worried for a boy I met a few minutes ago. I am on my way to the toilets when I suddenly hear a crying noise from the restaurant. It might be alexander. I walk in...
"ALEC DROP THAT KNIFE DOWN... NOW!!!" I screamed while I am crying cause of what I just saw. I run over to Alexander. "I-I just. I can't I-I'm s-so sorry you had to see this...me...everything" he said looking at the ground. He couldn't speak properly because of the sobbing. I couls sense he breathed heavier again. "Why are you doing this to yourself? You don't deserve it ,Alexander" "yes I do" he sniffed still lookimg down to the ground. I sit down on my knees beside him. I lay my hands on his shoulders, trying to calm him down. I put my head down so I can face him and look into his beautiful hazel eyes, who were drowning in tears at the moment. "Alexander, why would you say such thing?" I ask him in the most calm way I can. But it's hard, cause my voice is a bit shaky. "Be-Because I-I'm disgusting. That's why. I need to be ashamed of myself" "why?" "Because the way I look at you is not right. That's not how I'm suppose to be. I'm suppose to marry a woman, raise children whi could take over the family buisniss. I can't look at boys like that....the way I look at you..." by that last sentence his voive broke. How could he even think like that? Who told him? I stoke over his shoulders. "Alec, listen to me. You're perfect. Okay? You understand? Don't ever do such thing or talk like that again. Ever. Cause I look at you the same way you do. Alexander I've known you for like 40 minutes, but you make me feel something I haven't felt in a very long time. You know? I've closed myself off to feeling anything for anyone. Men or woman..." I pause to look at him straight in the eyes. I continue "you've unlocked something in me, so please. Do it for me. Try it for me. We'll figure something out. We'll make it trough this. Together." I look at him, but he was trembling backwards and forwards. His head was down. And his left hand was a fist with is right hans holding it. He has a panic attack?