rEaR vIeW (Amnesia _ I Need Ya)

Chapter 17

As she took a step to walk in the affable homestead, Shirley had a face-splitting smile on her face. Harry noticed it and looked at her sceptically, "What is that smile about?"

"All the fanfictions I ever read started with the girl living with you guys in their house. And now, I am living that dream", she laughed a bit high on excitement. Harry laughed along and they entered his dad's farmhouse.

"So, the boys are already here!", Harry exclaimed as he started getting all the bags in. The doors were unlocked and the house looked much cleaner, one more sign that Liam is here.

Zayn, Liam, Louis and Niall were already here by ambulance, one of the services hospitals provided even if Zayn was okay to go by car.

She started picking up bags but some of the security guards caught up on that. They must have been warned to not let her do anything.

When she saw Paul come out of his car, her directioner self sprung to hug him. She has no idea why she does that every time she meets him. She gets more excited to see him than boys.

Harry just rolled his eyes with a small smile and let her have a moment. In his mind, he remembered that in all the fanfictions, the girl ends up falling for him too. It is impossible that it will be true.

The house was just the way Zayn left it four years ago. Suddenly he realized that it actually has been eight years now.

Most of the days, he keeps himself in denial. But it troubles him to think that boys must have so many new memories while he is just a blank slate.

"Zayn? You okay?", Louis asked as he helped him tug in his blankets. The medicines he takes makes him weaker than he is and he always feels cold.

"Lou? Did we ever come here after X factor?", he curiously asked the older lad who gave him a cringe-worthy kiss on his forehead like a small kid. It was Louis's thing to annoy him.

"Nah man. It feels so surreal to be back here", he said and excused himself for a smoke. The way Zayn said it raised a bitter feeling in his heart.

Hearing the shuffling outside, Liam walked in on Harry and Shirley sitting tiredly on the sofa.

"Welcome to our Temporary home", he smiled and handed them water. He wanted to keep a limited staff so most of the maids were given holidays.

He decided that they will manage to cook and take care of the house. That way, they wouldn't be bored.

"You do realize you are inviting me in my own house?", Harry dramatically accused and left Liam flustered. He was just trying his hand at humour but Harry misunderstood him.

Shirley was just watching it and then burst into fits of laughter. Pulling Liam's leg was always easy. But she was surprised that Harry's jokes were getting better.

Harry was content as their laughter spread in the room. He wanted to cherish these moments and make each one count. He thought of it as a small trip with boys.

"Oi, what are you doing here? It's practically freezing outside", Niall shouted when he saw Louis smoking near the swimming pool.

When Louis didn't budge he rolled his jeans and dipped his legs beside the blue-eyed man.

"Just reminiscing. Do you think we could go back to the way we were after hiatus? And will Zayn join us? Will we ever get back?", he sighed and took a deep puff still looking at the patterns in the pool.

The clapping of water was somewhat peaceful and Niall started splashing it with his legs. He wanted to answer Louis but in his mind, these questions were prohibited.

"I don't know Lou. I'm afraid to even think about it. But honestly, no. We won't be the same even if we get back together. Because we have changed. Our lives have changed", he stated the bitter truth ducking his head down.

"But, the fact that we are sitting here and are afraid of it, the fact that we are here for Zayn keeping everything aside tells me that one thing will never change. That is our bond", he added and Louis gave him a huge smile.

They are a family, and a family never breaks by time nor distance. Louis was now confident that whatever happens with the band, their friendship is beyond everything now.

Shirley was worried about Zayn. They have spent the last 4 hours preparing some snacks and the boys were so tired that they straight away dived in without even thinking of him.

What a way to take care of him! Though she doesn't blame them, they are humans too. Zayn did not leave his room at all and they thought he must be asleep.

When Shirley went to his room she saw him playing the guitar. He was avoiding going downstairs. She was afraid he might develop some mental illness because of everything he went through.

It is pretty common in such cases, and not socializing is one of the main symptoms.

While playing a familiar tune he remembered some lyrics and he started singing, "Just stop looking for love, girl you know you still got time. Girl you know you still got time, girl you know you still got."

He was confused but continued oddly, "This could be something if you let it be something don't scare me away.....".

"Turning something into nothing babe", Shirley completed him and put a hand on her mouth. But Zayn was surprised by her amazing singing skills.

"Wow! One of our songs aye?", is all he could say as he processed he sang a song he doesn't even remember.

Harry was now entering his room, he must have heard him singing. "Um, ah, yeah", he smiled and looked at the young doctor for help. He leaned at the door frame, afraid to even go in now.

"I want to listen to all of them", Zayn jumped like a small kid. He was excited as hell to hear what they made in all these years.

"No, you can't!", came out of the 24-year-old singer's mouth before he could stop himself.

"He means you should get rest", as usual, Shirley tried to cover it. Zayn's angry eyes told them he was not buying anything.

"Yeah right! I get it. It is one of the things in the list of what Zayn cannot know", the black haired boy cynically laughed. Harry gulped and let Shirley handle it.

"You know what? I'm okay with it. I don't want to know anything about the past anymore. I don't think I have many happy memories. I don't want to know anything and I would love it if you guys just leave me alone!", his voice was raised and the rest of the boys heard it all downstairs.

Alarmed, Shirley gestured to Harry to get out. She didn't want him to get stressed.

Zayn shut the door at all of their faces and locked himself in. His head was hurting and tears were running down his eyes. He was tired of this feeling of being in darkness.

He dived into his bed. It was like a daily routine as he made himself cry to sleep.

A small early update. I love you all. VOTE, COMMENT AND SHARE. See you soon.xx