rEaR vIeW (Amnesia _ I Need Ya)

Chapter 25

'Drowning', not everyone can understand the phenomenon until they experience it. They won't understand how helpless someone feels. This follows the feelings of hopelessness and uselessness. All they can do is inhale and swallow the water in until they choke and fall unconscious.

One just wants to give up and let the welcoming water drag them to its peaceful bottom. But their bodies fight until their last breath. It's not ready to give up and uses its all hidden strength. It holds on to the 'hope'.

Louis was feeling somewhat familiar to this. He was drowning in sorrow, guilt, anger and worry. He was feeling useless. There was nothing he could do until the doctors gave any verdict on his best friend. He was all alone in a deserted ocean.

Louis was with Harry after he was told to rest. He was only lost in his own thoughts. He was worried about Zayn. 

When Harry suddenly woke up complaining about breathlessness Louis rushed to his bed with his pump. He held the younger boy and brought the pump near his mouth. That's when Louis realized that his whole body was burning up.

Harry suddenly went limp and fell unconscious in Louis's arms. The blue-eyed man was shocked. He called for doctors at the top of his lungs. He was immediately sent out of the room. That was an hour ago. 

Now Louis is outside in the corridor waiting for Shirley and the boys to come. He was still shaking from the incident.

Harry was tall and strong, but the way he held on Louis's trembling hands made him look so small. Louis was reminded of the 17-year-old Harry. He was the baby of the group. Since they lived together, Louis used to stay up all night even if the youngest of them caught the small flu.

He was his guardian and Harry was his responsibility. But he never thought of him like that, he was more like a priority, Harry as his small brother.

That's why he was so shocked when he came to know Harry had a fever for almost a week. They were so busy with Zayn. They didn't care for their own health. 

But it was their duty to look after each other. This is exactly what happened when they were in the band. They drifted apart even when they spent every minute of the day together.

When an urgent CT scan was expected Louis made up his mind for the worst. He was contemplating whether he should call Anne and the rest of the family. But he decided to wait until they get some solid news.

When he spotted Liam, Niall and Shirley take steps towards his chair he gave out a sigh. He finally let go. He knew he was not alone in this anymore. 

Even if they drown they will drown together. They are in this with each other and they are the only people who would understand him right now.

2/5 of one direction was on the brink of death. Niall never thought of that word. It just gives him an insight into reality. He might lose one of them and he is not ready to believe it. So none of them admitted it.

He was not sure how only they knew about it. All their life they never got to keep secrets. They never had the privilege of a personal life. And now suddenly only these three people know that Zayn and Harry are lying in the hospital bed when they want the world to know about it.

Now more than any time before when they actually need their fans they are prohibited to open their mouths and what for? For the sake of their careers and self-image? Or because they can't let anyone know how broken they all are? Is it worth it now? Is it worth his best mate's lives?

People talk, they form opinions, it's nothing new to them. He thought by now they would be used to it. They won't care. But they can't unhear things.