Maybe somebodies we (adopted by waterparks)

Journal

Jessika pov

I was in a sad mood. First the song that i first herd waking up was hey Rachel by as it is. Then second of all i gained two pounds. Then to top it all off im more self conscious about my cuts.

I mean i have been clean for almost two months, but the white marks and the pink marks on my upper arm that have been there since January.

I started my day by showering and hopefully making myself feel better. I got changed into a hoodie and black jeggings. I put a beanie on my head.

I walked to my room and falled on my bed.

I just wanted to go back to bed.

"Jess come on we have things to do today," Geoff yelled.

I sighed.

I grabbed my earbuds and phone and since i was in the 'i hate everything and my thoughts are really bad'. I put on just a slave to rock and roll by asking Alexandria.

I walked downstairs and met the boys down there.

"Why are you wearing a hoodie?," Awsten asked.

"What do you mean?," i ask.

"You only wear a hoddie when you are feeling extremely terrible about your body," Otto said.

"How did you know that!?," i ask crossing my arms.

The two clicked toghther. They read my journal. How dare they. I gave so much trust into them and they do this shit.

"You read my journal!," i yelled.

The boys looked suprised that i clicked that toghther.

I pushed passed them turning my music all the way up. I sat in the back in my usal seat and looked out the window.

The boys got in the car and we started to move.

An hour later i was listening to second and sobering my of mice and men.

We stopped and we pulled up to an office.

They got out and i followed. It was a work office and i felt out of place. I guess you could hear my music cause many old adults looked at me.

I looked at one man who was in his fifties and had a picture of a little boy and a girl. The girl was wearing an all time low shirt and black jeans.

I smiled.

I blocked the rest of the day out of my head and when we got home i locked myself in my room.

The road by asking Alexandria was on and it made me think of my past.

I had a home. With a mom and dad. I even had a step dad.

It was my brothers birthday they all died. Train wreck. They where meeting my brother and I so we could walk down the street and get dinner.

I laid in bed humming hold on till may by pierce the veil.

My thoughts got so bad i was in a ball in the corner of my room. Crying and shaking.

I froze i knew what i had to do. I stod up and ripped up my hoodie.

Trigger warning

I grabbed my phone and took off the case that had a blade. I made sure my door was locked and sat on my bed.

I sliced one. I smiled.

I did one for each of the boys. Then one for my mom, my dad and brother.

I did one for Mary, Raynie, Anna and Sebastion. I also did one for Elias.

I looked at my arm and sighed. I started to cry but ignored it and ran to the bathroom. I shut the door and washed the blood away. After a few minutes i ran back to my room. I put my hoodie on and laid back down hiding my blade.

I plaid the only difference by panic! and danced in my room for awhile.

"Dinner!," someone yelled.

"Not hungry," i yell back.

I countined dancing for while.