3 Stepbrothers

Spilling the Peas

Shawn's POV

"I'm not stupid." I said. "Or crazy."

I looked up from the journal that Cole had bought me. Tori was still on her hospital bed. She hasn't showed much change but I didn't expect her too. I read online that people just come out of comas as if they had blinked. It's not determined it just happens. Her monitors were beeping at her sides giving me some reassurance that she's alive. It's been a few days since her last heart attack. It was almost like we started growing inside the hospital.  We were each a plant and Tori was our sun, the way we clung onto her. Hoping the light would never go out.

The days have been lagging on too much. It got to a point where Suzie couldn't last longer, she wanted to go home and sleep in her bed. So now we all move around a lot. Coming to the hospital, leaving to go home, following routines we had to adjust. It hasn't been a lot of time but March was coming up or maybe it already was March. Time just clogged together. Like a roll of toilet paper in a toilet. Nothing was getting through except small details.

Everyone was already busy. Mom had to go to work, dad was searching for jobs. He'd spend most his time at the hospital but he and mom had an argument about money and hospital bills. It was the first time I saw mom and dad fight since they got married. Blake, Cole, and I were already having thoughts about a failed marriage. It was only one fight but if something happened to Tori it might lead to a full blown divorce. Maybe a couple months ago I would have been happy about mom and dad getting a divorce but now if it happened, I'd be really disappointed. If worse comes to worse, I could adopt Suzie. Get a nice certificate and hang it on the wall with her name and cute paw prints that border the edges.

She's a human-being Shawn, not an animal from the pound. It said.

Yeah but can I put a special request to have paw prints?

If I had a hand...or a face, I'd face palm.

My lips pursed and I shook my head to get the voice out. I sighed looking back at Tori, "Maybe I am a bit crazy." I tapped the end of my pencil against the book. After a week or so the doctors took the tube out of her mouth and replaced a ventilator in her neck. I didn't entirely understand how it worked but I wasn't going into Med school so it wasn't like it mattered to me. All I knew is that there isn't a tube down her throat, so she looks better. "I think I know I'm crazy but when people say I am...it's not that I take it offensively but it makes me sorta...sad."

Sadness was the main emotion at the moment. We were all experiencing it but now we're all trying to get back to the real world. Like Doctor Garcia said, we need to get back to our regular lives. It was hard to accept in the beginning, then we all had stuff to pay attention to. Blake was focused on soccer and teen parenting issues, Cole has his job and girlfriend, and I have books and Emily.

"I don't know if I'm explaining myself entirely." I added vaguely. "I mean...I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm not...stupid. Sure, I play games. I like to joke around. But I'm not dumb. If anything...I'm sorta smart. In my own way." I sighed and leaned back in my chair looking up at the ceiling of the hospital room. "It's like..." I trailed off. "I can be stupid at times. Sometimes I am clueless but when you think really hard about it, I have to be smart to make the jokes that I make. To play around. I also have to be confident, not care what other people think of me or what I say. That was always something I had. I don't take peoples words too seriously. Well...occasionally."

I sighed closing my eyes. "My oldest memories all involve my grandpa pulling pranks on me. They were stupid too. Amateur but it still made him laugh, it made me laugh. I like to laugh. It's scientifically proven you strengthen your lungs by laughing and it makes you live longer. So, laughing is good. Except if you die of laughter. I almost did. Chocked on a mint when I was eight..."