SPECIALIST! (Hunterxhunter Ff)【SLOW UPDATES】

「4」_Tough

Please do mind your comments, I do not like addressing hateful slurs when it can be avoided by not commenting at all.

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First POV

My mind is racing.

My heart is pounding.

My soul is breaking.

My body is numbing.

It's sickening.

I've never felt so lost before. My mind couldn't think straight even though I tried to force it. My heart is pounding, yeah, pounding with hurt. My soul is breaking, like it's never been broken before. My body is numbing, itching for my knife to touch my wrists again. It was addicting.

With me tuning out, I didn't hear killua and gon catching up on us. Hell, I wasn't even surprised when Leorio said he's also a teen. And that made them worried.

"-n? Y/n-san? Y/n y/n y/n!" Gon's voice, I can hear gon's voice. It made me trip. Kurapika accidentally let go. "Y/N!" I can hear them shout as I roll down the steps.

My voice. Where's my voice? I couldn't let any sound out. Why? I don't understand. I finally stopped rolling, still in the stairs. Just a few hours ago, I'm cheerful like my old self. How did I change? Why did I change? In a short amount of time too.

With broken thoughts, I laid there unmoving as I could feel the sleeves of my shirt around my elbow. My arms facing down. My blindfold was barely hanging on my nose.

I rose up, digging my nails into the cement while careful not to let them see my scars. The sleeves slid down. Why did I choose to wear loose sleeves? Of course it will do this when I'm lifting my arm up.

I bowed my head and closed my eyes tightly. I held the ends of the blindfold and knotted them into a ribbon. Please don't come off. The sound of footsteps reached my ears and I could feel Kurapika, Leorio, Killua and Gon's presence.

Please, don't cry. My hand took a hold of a step so I can hoist myself up. But before I did, someone checked me, sitting beside me as well. "Are you injured?" Leorio's voice, that's leorio's voice.

You know them y/n, don't pretend to not know. Please remember. I bit the inside of my cheek as I swallowed hard. "No. ." My shaky voice came out. Injured inside yes.

"Y/n, your hands are shaking." Kurapika's voice, I can remember Kurapika's voice. I clenched my jaw, stopping it from trembling. I gripped the cemented step and hoisted myself up.

The action made me lightheaded. I'm super dizzy. My eyes are rolling in such a way that I can't even do. I wobbled as I tried to regain my balance. My wrist hurts.

"We need to go now." I said in a much more normal voice. I think they thought it was because I rolled down some steps that made me in this situation, so we ran like a jaguar until we reached the crowd again.

My head is spinning. My emotions are unstable. I need to get outside quickly. I really need fresh air. Hell, fuck, damn it. I badly need time to correct my thoughts. And I need time to do that.

My hand itched again. I feel Kurapika's worried hand touch mine. "Your hand is cold. Are you sure you're okay?" His honey voice asked. "I'm ok." I smiled at him for a second.

Gon and Killua went ahead to continue their competition. Hell, where's the end? My mind is harsher than it was before.

It's addicting to think those words because you're trying to set aside the other thoughts. There's ruckus in front that made Kurapika's next question fly out or slide down the stairs.