Dark Poems

Depression ll

Depression,

I just need someone to talk to. I can't tell anyone about how I feel. I don't feel like I'm needed or notice. I cut myself, I don't know why, but I do;on my hip, on my arms and wrists. I feel like my friends find me as trash, I only have one friend, music, plus my non-biological sister. And some times music can't even help. Infront of people I'm cherry and innocent: but it's just a facade. I feel worthless, that's why I cut.

Tears just poured out a few minutes ago and I just snapped. I curled into a ball and sobbed; then I did something I promised myself I wouldn't, I cut myself. Again and again, drawing blood again-feeling the familiar sting again-feeling worse about myself, again....

I need to just let this all out, but even as I write this, my throat is clogging and tears are stinging at my eyelids:

I can't tell my parents, family, or my friends... or any one. I feel: ugly, fat, stupid, worthless, idiotic, a cry-baby fo crying right now, like crap, crazy, abd most of all, depressed. I'm a waste of time, my walls are falling, I'm crumbling and the tears are pouring. Please help, I don't want to be on pills or anything, that would change the people's out look on me. Make them futher away from what they already are.

I feel like the world around me hates me for ever showing up and I just want it to stop! I'm only 14 for pete's sake! I don't need their crap ontop of mine. I just want it to stop. I feel unheard and forgotten. I just want it to go away, forever. Let people be happy cause everybody knows they'd be better off without me.

If there's one thing I hate more than my life, is when people try to sugar coat things. You don't need to treat me like I'm incapable just cause I won't respond. If I'm not respnding, I'm either; ignoring you, giving you the silent treatment, i'm zoned out, or I hate you, alot. So don't act like I'm a foreign object just because I'm sad. Act like you care and maybe, MAYBE, I'll respond. If you yell at me, I'll yell back. If you fight me, I'm stronger....literally. If you call me stupid, ugly, whore, hoe, slut, and no one likes you/me, I'll walk away, huddle up in a corner in my basement, and bawl my eyes out. I can only take so much before I snap. You can't expect me to brush it off and act all bubbly, I'm not my older sister. I'm not skinny, and popular. I'm short, fat, and an outcast. Don't try threatening me, it'll only make me angrier the world. Don't take away my music, you'll never know if I die...