Seize The Moment

Chapter 12- I'm Not Over Him

Days turned to weeks since the break up. I must admit its been hard. I think I may be slowly getting over it. Why can't love be easy? It's so complicated! I can't say if I've given up on love because I'm not sure. All I know is that it's hard and great and ugh confusing.

I miss James, a lot! I miss his morning hair. I miss his hugs. I miss the kisses. I miss his perfect smile and adorable laugh. Why can't I get him out of my head? I was so sure that our relationship would work out. I feel stupid for that. I ruin everything.

SNL hasn't made the break up any easier. I have to seem every. single. day! Somehow we always end up in a scene together. We haven't made our break up public because we would be bombarded with paparazzi. So we have to act like a happy couple on SNL. Which is very, very awkward I might add.

It's really easy to notice the sorrow in him. He doesn't laugh and smile as much as he use to. I can tell he's been drinking because....well I've been seeing him at bars, a lot lately. And each time I wanted to go in there and talk to him to attempt to get him back but I turn around each time. Does he have this same feeling? I don't know. This is complicated.

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"Ready?" Mariah said excitingly. We were going out for the first time since me and jimmy split up.

"Yeah, I guess."

"Oh no, no, no, no. You're not going out like that."

I was wearing jeans and a Red Sox shirt with my hair in a ponytail. I've kinda given up trying. "What's wrong with this?"

"We're going out! You need to look nice!" When she finished giving me a 'makeover' I looked in the mirror. I wore a black dress the went down right above my knees, with heals, some jewelry, some makeup, and curled hair.

"You look gorgeous!" Mariah said.

"Thanks."

We went to one of the biggest clubs in New York City. I wasn't in the partying mood so I spent most of my time at the bar while Mariah danced with multiple guys. She was very pretty and quite the dude magnet. Apparently so was I because guys kept coming up to me offering to buy me a drink. I took the offer only because I love the idea of a free drink. But one guy however caught my eye. He had brown eyes, beautiful brown hair, and a nice smile. He was wearing a green, blue, and white plaid shirt.

"Hey there." He said with a smile.

"Hi." I said returning a smile.

"I'm Alex and you are?"

"Torie."

"Well, Torie, lets make a deal. If I buy you a drink you have to give me a dance." He said.

"Sounds reasonable."

He bought me a drink and we talked for awhile. He was funny, and had an adorable laugh. He felt kind of familiar. Then I danced with him as promised.

"You're beautiful." He said.

"Thank you."

"So stranger, what do you do for a living."

"Nothing too special." I lied.

"You're lying. You're an SNL star. But I recon you want to keep that on the down low so we'll just pretend you're a 'nobody'." He said with a laugh. Then it hit me. He looked and acted like jimmy! Oh my god. 'Nobody' was what Jimmy always called me. It was kinda our thing. I laughed slightly.

"What was that?" he said with a laugh.

"I'm sorry Alex I can't do this."

"Why? Was it something I said?"

"No, no, it's just that you remind my ex, jimmy." I said and we stopped dancing.

"Oh I totally forgot! You're dating jimmy fallon.....wait ex?"

"Well yeah but not for long. Thanks for keeping me company though, I appreciate it! I think I should fix things with him but I don't know how or when to do it."

Someone tapped me on the shoulder.

"How about now?" Someone said and I turned around shocked to see that it was.....Jimmy.