LETTERS FOR HIM | #WattPride

DAY EIGHT

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Date: 19 June 2018.

'It's hard to resist 
A
Bad Boy 
Who's 
A Good Man'.

The house was filled with the aroma of cinnamon buns. The living room was still the same, the same dark brown sofas, same table, same television, nothing changed. Well, except for a few more added artificial flowers.

Grandma and her love and/or obsession for flowers!

"Cinnamon Buns for my little Xavy" Xavier had called Diana, to informed her that he's coming.
"Thanks, Gran" Different flavors exploded in Xavier's mouth. It was super delicious.
That sweet--- sticky delicious buns. Who wouldn't die for those!

Xavier made his way to the kitchen. Still the same. Except, for more new cutlery and tea cups.
She was obsessed with tea.
"Tea or coffee?" Xavier was tired and he didn't want to stay awake for the rest of the day.
And tea?
Well, tea is not just his thing.

"Milk?" Diana smiled. Milk it is then. Xavier's grandma poured some milk in the glass and handed it to Xavier.
Xavier gulped the milk and devoured the cinnamon buns.

"You want to talk about it, Xavy"? Sooner or later, Diana was definitely going to ask Xavier about it. But Xavier was not ready.
Yes, he did talk and share things with his grandma. But.. It was just that he was not ready. He didn't know how she would react when he would tell her that he's gay. He just don't want to know...

"Hmm, not now gran... I'm tired. Maybe when I wake up?" Xavier didn't want to hurt Diana. But, he didn't want to hurt himself too.
He was tired. Not just physically but emotionally too.
"Take your time, Xavy. Rest well" Xavier's grandmother placed a soft motherly kiss on his forehead. She knew something was wrong. But, she also knew that Xavier would tell her everything. He just want some time.

The way to his room was easy. His room was upstairs. He has his own room, decorated it his own way. Of course, he did that when he was young.
Opening the door, he found himself standing in a sort of galaxy room.
The room was dark which made the glowing stars to glow even more.
The room was basically full with glowing stars and moon and planets. He remember how his grandma would always fussed about the room not being bright enough. How the room is not filled with sunlight. That he should open his window.
But Xavier would always argue about his love for stars and how beautiful his room looked; with all the stars. 
Of course, his grandma let him have his way. As long he's smiling and all happy, she's fine with that.

Xavier removed his shoes and clothes. He was beyond tired. His head was throbbing with a newfound headache and his body ache.
He let himself fall on the bed. Xavier sleeps only with his boxer on. Be it winter or summer. It was only him and his boxer.

His mind flew to Cody. Is he okay? Xavier thought. Even though Cody hurt him, Xavier wanted him. In every way.

His mind quickly flew to the memory of Cody with the girl.
Xavier heart ached at the memory.
He wanted to talk with Cody. But he knew he could not. He should not. And would not.

He does not want Cody to laugh at him. Mock him. Make fun of him.

"Stop thinking about him Xavier! You came here to move on. Just stop" Xavier says to himself.

It was painful not to think about him.
It was like, you're telling someone to stop drinking water.

And that would be so cruel.

WHERE ARE YOU FROM ?