She Curses like a Sailor

Chapter 11

He pulled it over his head and I immediately resisted the urge to take it back off.

“Stop looking at me like you want to eat me” he muttered, I was snapped out of my trance when the shrill bell cut through my inappropriate thoughts. I got up and he kissed my cheek before going to his next class I found my own rubbing the feeling of his lips off my cheek like a child who just got a kiss from their 90-year-old grandma who smelled like stale Walmart brand fruit loops and peppermint.

I woke up to my phone ringing. I groaned trying to block it out. It kept ringing for the next 15 minutes.

Why is someone calling me at two in the morning?

I checked my caller I.D that said Assmuncher in big letters. Why is he even up?

“What?” I snapped into my phone.

“Such a nice greeting, y’know personally I feel very-“

“What do you want?” I groaned.

“So there was this donut” Chase started.

“Chase I’m tired” I stated.

“And this donut was amazing it was a glazed donut”

“Chase does this have any relevance at any time?” I asked.

“His name was Steve, and he was walking down the street one day”

“Chase, I’m going to sleep-“

“And then he heard noises in an alley”

I sighed loudly “Chase why did you call me at two in the morning to tell me a story about a donut named Steve?” I asked.

“Do you want to hear the story or not?” he asked.

“No”

“Too bad, anyways he heard noises in the alley, but this wasn’t an ordinary alley-“

“Are you on drugs?” I asked.

“This was the alley” he informed me.

“oh was it?” I asked playing along. I’m positive he was on drugs, in fact I'm looking up rehab places in the morning.

“the ally that controls time and space; all that once was and all that will be. The alley controls death and love, the alley can see into your mind, the alley can see into your soul-“

“Defiantly on drugs” I muttered.

“Will you stop interrupting this is the good part!” he snapped at me.

“Anyways so he went into the alley and he saw…” he dramatically paused, I yawned completely ready for this to be over. He stayed silent.

“What did he see?” I asked finally.

“Two donuts fucking” he answered.

“Chase donuts don’t have-“

“And he just stood there” he interrupted “With a glazed expression” he added, and started laughing. Wow.

“Get it? Glazed expression?” he asked bursting into another fit of laughter.

“Chase donuts don’t have dicks or vaginas” I told him.

“Well then aren’t you just a buzz kill Mrs. Smarty shoelaces” he said.

“It’s pants” I told him rubbing my head. Do you see what I have to endure? This shit right here.

“Pants is too original” he complained.

“Are you on drugs?” I asked finally. I’m in high school pretty much everyone is on drugs but he might be on the hard stuff and I might need some occasionally because well I have to deal with that. Alcohol just isn't making the cut.