Without A Kiss (Frerard)

5

Gerard smiled as Bert squeezed his cheeks and kissed him on the forehead. He had been treating him so great all day. He reminded him of how he used to be. It was so nice that he decided to ignore everything that was so wrong about it.

Gerard blushed and rested his head on Bert's chest.

"I love you" Bert said softly

Gerard hesitated before replying "I love you too"

Bert frowned at the hesitation. He wrapped his arms around Gerard.

"we've had a lot of problems lately" bert said

Gerard nodded

"and I know they were caused by me. I've been a dick lately, haven't i?"

Gersrd hesitantly nodded again.

"it's okay to admit it, I know. I want to fix things though, Gerard" Bert lied. Gerard was catching on to his tricks, Gerard was falling out of love with him an that's what scared him. Did he love Gerard? Not really. But the thought of him being alone terrified him. He did his best to keep Gerard liking him. Manipulation and threats did make him stay but Bert was tired of yelling and fighting. He wanted Gerard to love him so he decided to be more like what he did love. Frank. He would now be protective and soft with Gerard. Anything to make him stay.

"how?" Gerard asked

"firstly I want to apologize, and from now on you have as much freedom as you want. You do whatever as long as you're happy. I just want to see you happy, Gee"

Gerard smiled "thank you, Bert"

Bert smiled and kissed him.

Gerard felt strange as they kissed. He felt vulnerable and stupid. He felt lied to and hurt. It reminded him of a cigarette. It's so good in the moment that you completely push aside the fact that its literally killing you. That's how Bert was making him feel lately.

Gerard felt more lost and helpless lately than he eve had in his life. Now that this person who has torched him for two years is claiming to change, should he stay and belive it? or does he run away with someone he's had a crush on since freshman year of highschool?

Meanwhile, Frank felt like absolute shit. His best friend hasn't been around lately because his abusive boyfriend is being clingy and controlling. Also, he is absolutely in love with that friend and the friend is in love with him too but wont break up with the boyfriend. But even if they did break up, Frank doesn't know how he would feel about dating him. He would just feel bad because he knows he's only a secound choice. Gerard knew Frank liked him before he dated Bert. He chose to date Bert because he liked Bert more than Frank. Frank wants to be with someone who would choose him first, even though he loves Gerard more than anything. On top of all of that, He won't even get the chance to be with Gerard because he's moving. Gerard will be all alone. Frank will have to break his promises. He cant stay with Gerard because Gerard stays with Frank and Bert and Bert would never let Frank into his house so he will just have to leave Gerard all alone. No one to talk to, no where to escape Bert, and no reason to leave him. He still had yet to tell Gerard about moving.

Gerard closed his eyes and snuggled into Bert, enjoying the feeling of another humans warmth. Maybe that's all this was. Gerard didn't love Bert, he was just touch deprived. He loved the feeling of affection from another person again. A person he could have.

After a few hours of just cuddling and small kisses, Gerard looked up at Bert. "I'm gonna go chill with Frank for a few but I'll be back" He gave him a kiss on the cheek. "i love you"

"wait, do you have to?"

"I mean.."

"please dont go, Gerard"

Gerard kissed Bert softly "I'll be back I promise"

Bert nodded "okay. I love you too"

Gerard made his way to Frank's house.

"Gerard!" Frank exclaimed with joy as he sat down on his bed.

"Frank!" Gerard mocked

Frank laughed and then frowned "I uh have something I should probably tell you"

"yeah?" Gerards happy expression soon turned to concern. Did something bad happen? Did he get a boyfriend?

"im moving in a few months"

"how far?" Gerard asked

"pretty far. we're going to Minnesota"

Gerard looked down "oh"

"I'm so sorry, Gerard I wish I could stay but I have nowhere to go and you know I've been trying to get a job but I just cant find one"

Gerard nodded

"you could go with us. My mom knows your family situation, she wouldn't mind"

"I really can't, Frank"

"Why?"

"Bert"

"dont you want to leave him? this would be a perfect excuse"

"no he's changing"

"no no Gerard hes not. He's" He held up quotation marks "'changing'"

"but it feels real. It feels nice"

"Its a trap"

"he held me all day. No fighting, no yelling, no sex, just sweet genuine romance and cuddles. it was nice. it felt real. I think hes genuine"

"do you really?"

Gerard hesitated "not really" He frowned

"exactly. Come with me. He can't stop you. Break up and leave"

"I just cant"

"but you CAN. you just dont want to. It's okay I understand though" Frank looked down.

"Frank-"

"no I really do. This town is beautiful and Bert is hot. I understand why you're so in love. Its okay, Gerard"

Gerard didn't say anything, there was nothing he could say.

"it's just, ya know, you've been my best friend for a long time and I just kinda expected that you would chose me over a manipulative ass hole. But it's okay"

"Frank you dont understand. Its not just Bert! My mother wouldn't let me just leave with someone to Minnesota"

"but she's never sober and you're an adult"

"but she wouldn't let me leave. And Bert wouldn't take that as an excuse. Plus, as much as I hate her, she does need someone to look after her... or at least call the ambulance when she dies."

Frank nodded "so I guess I'm just going to have to leave you" He said, his voice cracking.

Gerard nodded "I mean we will still text and call right?"

Frank nodded and they both began to sob.

"I promise you no matter what I will be back" Frank choked out as they both reached for eachother to hug. "and we still have a few months"

Gerard nodded. "I'm going to go to art school. If you aren't here by the time I'm out, I will go to Minnesota. I want you to keep your promise. I want to start a life with you"

"what about Bert" Frank asked, still in the hug.

"that's not love. I dont love him and he doesn't love me. I will leave him and I will find you if I need to"

Frank smiled and squeezed Gerard tighter.