Finding Forever

Chapter 4

Dinner with the Lang family went better than I could have imagined. Parker actually kept his snide comments about my sexuality to himself. I'm not considering it a full win, he probably threatened with some form of punishment if he made any of his snarky comments.

I found out that Parker was 15 years old, a freshman in high school, that he has a girlfriend named Carmen, who's also 15 years and in his grade. Parker plays on the school's football and basketball teams, has for years along with his two best friends, Carter and Ryan.

Abby is 14 years old and an eighth grader, she doens't want to date yet, she said she doesn't feel ready for that. Good for her, that she knows how she feels and sticks to it. She's also on the schools track team has been since sixth grade and she plays volleyball.

Before Julian and his family left the resturant, he came over to say goodbye to Archer and I. Honestly, I found it very sweet of him to do this, especially in front of people he didn't know who they were; and belive me when I say that all four of them gawked openly at the interaction between him and I. What amazed me even more was how well Archer responded to Julian by raising his chubby little arms raised for Julian to hold him.

Julian seemed surprise but no more than myself, Abby, Amy and Patrick. Julian asked if he could hold him for a moment and I nodded dumbfounded, which became so much more when Archer actually allowed him to hold him. Damn my baby is good, he laid his head on Julian's shoulder and played with his hair.

When Julian decided to leave, he went to place Archer back in the high chair but he started to cry; with pleading eyes Julian looked to me for help. With a smile and a small laugh I took him from Julian.

"Don't worry, I'm glad he likes you, too," I tell him softly in his ear as I hugged him, then took Archer from his hold. Archer then decided to lay his head on my shoulder, suck his thumb and play with my hair by my face.

"Have a good evening," he says in farewell to everyone once he took his leave.

"He's cute," Abby says dreamily as she stares after Julian. Oh, boy, I don't want to have to compete for boys with my younger sister.

"Sorry, girlie, I think he plays for my team," I tell her softly, not wanting to be loud in a public place about not only my sexuality but his as well. Hey, it's not my place to say it to everyone about his sexual preferences, not sure if he's out to others.

"Boo," she says with a slight pout.

"Brayden?" I hear Amy asking pulling me out of the private conversation with Abby.

"Yes, Mrs. Lang?" I reply instantly trying to be polite to cover not knowing how to address her or Patrick. Now that I've been thinking about it, perhaps they're not comfortable with me calling them by their first names.

"Why so formal?" she asks cocking her head at me.

Shrugging back at her as I gently brush Archer's hair from his eyes. "I don't want to be impolite and I don't really know how to address you or Mr. Lang."

"Please call us either by our first names or if you want and are comfortable, you may call us mom and dad," she replies with a huge, warm mum smile.

Blushing as I smile tentativly at her as I reply, "I would rather call you by your first names, for right now. I'm not ready to call others 'dad' and 'mum'; even though I know you are those names, I'm just not there yet." Both nod their heads in understanding.

"Can we go now, I have plans to meet Carmen?" Parker grumbles out.

Patrick snaps his head toward Parker with a glare, making my brother drops his eyes some. "No, you don't, if your memory is failing you at such a young age, you are grounded. That also includes physically spending time with Carmen. You may text, call or facetime her, that's all until Thursday."

"Whatever," is all Parker mumbles at his dad. "This is all the faggot's fault anyway," he mumbles thinking no one heard him as we wander outside after the check was paid.

"Want to make your punishment until Monday?" Amy snaps as we reach our vehicles. Parker's seems wise enough to not push his parents any farther.

"I'm sorry that I'm causing issues in your home and family," I whisper to them, trying to keep the tears at bay as I finish strapping Archer into his seat.

"Believe me when I say you're not, we've been having these kinds of issues with him the last few years," Amy reassures me as she hugs me goodbye.

"Maybe it's for the best if we don't see each other anymore. I've turned your normal life upside down," I tell her regretfully, not really wanting to end things with my family that I've just found.

"Not happening, we're not loosing you after you just found us. He can get over or at least keep his damn homophobic mouth shut," Patrick, Amy and Abby say together.

"Sure, take the freaky gay boy's side over your son who's normal," Parker lashes out. "Hm, let's compare shall we, normal son, who likes girls not boys, who can't become pregnant," he continues pointing at himself.

"Or the son who likes boys, which is just gross and who can become not only pregnant but can also birth said children, which is just not the way the world works. It's a damn sin."

"You know it's not like I woke one morning and decided, 'hey, how about I be gay, be beaten and ridiculed every day' by not only the man who was supposed to be my father and love me for me but everyone else in society who don't understand that no one in their right mind would choose beatings and verbal abuse over being considered 'normal'," I tell him trying to keep my emotions in check.

"And about my son, I would never trade him to be 'normal' though. If it wasn't for my beautiful son that I hope to raise to never judge and ridiculce for being different than him. I'm glad I could become pregnant with him, even if it wasn't out of love, and birth him. I love my son more than myself or even my own life. I wouldn't take back anything about being able to have him. I refuse even all the beatings and what not, I would never pretend to be what I'm not to make others happy or comfortable. I'm a proud gay man, who's raising his son on his own with no help from the other father."

Glaring at Parker now not able to contain my anger. "If that doesn't fit in your shelted bubble of what a perfect world is, than fuck you Parker. I don't give a damn about what you think. There's nothing you could do or say to me that I haven't already been told or done to me."

Turning my attention to the others, who've stood there quietly listening. "I'm sorry to be rude and disrespectful but I don't care any more. I'm sorry but I can't do this. I can't be around, nor can I allow Archer to be around someone who is so ignorant at a part of the world. Archer and I won't bother you anymore, so please, go back to your happy family and forget about us."

Turning I open my car door, before sitting into the seat I turn back to the three who don't hate me, at least I hope they don't. "I'm glad to know I have two parents besides my mum, who are great and a wondeful little sister but please, for the sake of your family forget we exsist, I'll try to do the same for mine."

With that I get inside the car, shut the door, and leave the resturant after starting the engine. Driving to the hotel, I can't wait to move into my apartment now and start my new life, even if it's going to be with out my birth family.

Once at the hotel I change myself into a pair of swim trunks and Archer into a swim diaper, so we can swim in the hotel pool before calling it a night. About two hours later, I decdid that we've had enough water time, which Archer just loved, we head back up to the room to change into pajamas and prepare for bedtime.

After bathing Archer and dressing him in a new diaper and blue footie jamies with footballs, I warm his nighttime bottle and feed him as I softly sing to him. Once he's fallen asleep, I gently lay him in his crib, allowing me to shower and change myself.

Throwing the covers back on the bed, I settle in before pulling the covers over myself as I turn the television on with the volume low as to not distrube Archer. Finding another comedy to watch, my mind wanders to the family on screen, that even though they may have issues, those are always solved by the end. I wish my life was a show or book that by the end, everything turns out happy.

Yeah, right, not going to happen, this is reality not fantisy. Need to move on and look forward, if not for myself than my son. He deserves a papa who's happy and content, even if it's not with my birth family.