Friend that is a girl: *touches me in anyway*
Me: "I have a boner"
*pays basketball*
My brother:" mayø your a dick"
Me: "mY dIcK FeLl OfF"
My brother:" Oof"
Me:*is a fan of twenty one pilots but some people take it like I'm obsessed with them but I'm actually not*
People that think that of me:" hey mayø the new twenty one pilot album just came out! I bet it's like all the other albums, ITS TRASH HAHAHAHA! Oh did u hear the song jumpsuit? What kind of name is that?!? Hahahah there music isn't even poetic hahahah"
Me: I wasn't even talking about it? Wtf, you know I can just tell ur gf to break up with you just bc u think ur better then everyone, sir I'm the most dominant and ur trying to fuck with me, ur making a big mistake, Ima fucking push u to the ground next time and ima fucking beat ur ass bitch, don't fuck with the bull or you'll get the horns you little piece shit, don't be trying to start shit with me you bitch.
Me:* messes with everyone*
Everyone:* try's to mess with me*
Me:"I'll fucking cut ur throat if u touch me"
Person:"do u think unicorns are real?"
Me:" I am a unicorn"
Person that sits next to me in second period: "do u smoke?"
Me:"what?"
Person:"do u smoke something..?"
Me:" what?"
Person:*whispers*"do u smoke marijuana?"
Me:"....mmaaayyybb- what?"
*Bell rings*
Me:*leaves quickly*
Me:*actually exercising* "holy shit I'm getting attractive, I fucking hate myself"
People I know in middle school I never knew how to talk too:"mayø ur annoying af"
Me:"sammme"
People I know that are in a higher grade then me:"MAYØ UR AWESOME AND COOL U NEED TO HANGOUT WITH US MORE!!"
Me:*laughs* "why?!?"
Me:*gets a smart gf that will always be smarter then me in anyway and is Satan*
"90% of the time idk what to talk to you about bc I feel like you hate the living shit out of me, I feel like everything I talk about is stupid and just stupid, I feel sorry for you bc of me.
Me:"who wants to hangout?"
Everyone:*slips away, pretends to not hear me, says there are gonna go but at the last second they say they can't, says "I gtg bye bye" after I text them for one min or less.
"Oof, I see how it is"
Me:*plays hard rock music with guitar*
Family:" why do u play dark music?"
Me:"fuck off"
Friend:*whispers*" take a ride on my big green tractor.."
Me:"WE CAN GO SLOW OR MAKE IT GO FASTER!!!"
Me:"SO IF ITS MEANT TO BE THEN ITLL BE, BABY JUST LET IT BE, RIDE WITH ME RIDE WITH ME!!!"
*summer school *
Emo guy in class(Cecil): *looks really cool*
Me:*texts him on last day of school* "hey I actually liked u for like the past three weeks of summer school, just letting u know👌🏻"
Cecil:"oh😳 I actually think ur really beautiful and attractive I'm actually crushing on u too"
Me:"Oof welp at least we're both honest"
Cecil:"I'm glad u felt comfortable telling me this"
Me:"Oof ya we should hangout sometime"*i deserve to die*
YOU ARE READING
~Mayø jokes~
RandomJust my stupid ass stupid jokes I say. To pickup lines to walking in a class room like a stupid fucker. Oh wait these also this I say in my head and things that are going on in me life so have fun looking at this crap of a book no one is gonna under...
