Thoughts of a depressed in love teenager

To forget you

I said I would quit writing about you;

But you know I've never been true to my word.

You were the oxygen in my lungs.

The blood in my veins.

The nicotine in my cigarettes.

I couldn't get enough of you.

When things turned to shit I wanted to die.

Because I couldn't imagine a life without you.

I loved the ways our fingers perfectly intertwined.

And I loved the way I knew your secrets and you knew mine.

Now I'm left with nothing but haunting memories.

I'm the definition of teenage angst.

I can't decide what to eat,

Much less what to do with my life.

I've grown so accustomed to this sadness,

I have no idea how to be happy.

And I fucking loved the way you exhaled my name the way I exhaled the smoke.

Your lips were so much more intoxicating than any drug I've ever done.

And your skin was so much more comforting than my baby blanket ever was.

I needed you to guide me but you are the one that broke me.

And I'm starting to think beyond repair.

Because no matter how many times I get high,

I can still see your fucking face through the smoke.

No matter how drunk I get,

I can still taste your lips in my fucking drink.

And no matter how many pills I take,

Nothing was harder to swallow than saying goodbye to you.

I've lost so much sleep because of you.

And I hope the thought of me keeps you awake at night too.

Because life isn't fair.

I was suppose to spend mine with you!

And now I'm left here with myself,

Just trying to find something to make me forget you....

- anonymous