Thoughts of a depressed in love teenager

Mistaking sex for love

In that moment after a piece of you entered a piece of me, the room was almost silent except for your soft sighs. I broke the quiet, and the words slowly but surely fell out of my mouth.

"I love you." My voice seemed louder than ever before, bouncing off the walls.

After I spoke, I looked at him to see his reaction, but there was none. It was almost like my words hit the floor and shattered before he heard them.

Finally, after what felt like eternity, he looked over at me and his blue eyes met mine. "You're sweet."

My chest felt heavy, and my bones felt like they were slowly being broken along with my heart. My cheeks started to burn and so did my eyes.

"I'm, sweet?"

"Yeah."

"Oh."

He got out of my bed and slid on his pants, the silence between us never meant anything before but now it means everything. I can't explain to you, how watching him walk out of the door that night made my head fill with confusion and my heart will with hurt.

I guess it was my mistake, to think that every time we went into bed we were making love. I confused sex, and greed, and two bodies connecting for something else. I thought that just because he kissed my skin, I was the girl he wanted, that with every bite he was marking his territory. I needed to learn, and this was my lesson, just because he lets you crawl into his bed he will let you crawl into your heart. Just because in the moment he looks at you with a look that could say more than a million words, it doesn't mean anything. I didn't mean anything, but to me, he meant everything."

-i.c. //