If only

Chapter 1

Ever since I was a child all I wanted to do is just be myself and run around and play, but now I just want to hide in a place where no one will ever find me, why ? Because I simply want to escape the harsh reality I live in. It all started since I was in freshmen year , I don't really remember what happened but my parents told me the story. Apparently I blacked out and the ambulance rushed me to the hospital where they ran a couple of tests and found out that I have cancer. Being 14 and finding out you have a disease that can kill you is terrible, at this point you'd think that things can't possibly get worse right? Well obviously I was wrong because when my so called friends found out they all got freaked out and stopped talking to me completely. At that point I pretty much felt like I wanted to disappear because all I felt was pain, misery, I even became pessimistic and anyone who would take a quick glance at me could see that I was lugubrious.

By now I'm probably guessing that you think that I'm being pretentious right ? Well trust  me I'm not. I mean how would you feel if your entire world went upside down in just a few hours? Everyday that passes by I commemorate the day I got sick, I keep on replaying it in my head and envisage what my life would've been like right this instant if none of the things happened. I'd probably be hanging out with my friends and wouldn't have to be gratified by my parents as if I'm a one year old that can't do anything.

What bothers me the most is that I can't remove the oxygen tubes that are connected from my nose to an oxygen tank that I have to carry around. As consequence to that whenever I go out with my parents I get weird looks , even glares sometimes. I thought I'd get used to it but I just end up really hurt, the hard part of it is that I have to pretend to not feel offended or bothered because I don't want my parents to feel bad. Ever since I got cancer they wouldn't stop at any cost to try to make me feel better, they said that whenever I'm happy their happy so I have to put up an act, I have to wear a mask to keep my true emotions locked inside of me.

After a few months of having cancer I started to lose my hair since I've been going through chemotherapy and other surgeries. When i did I wasn't really fazed by it but I still didn't want to been seen without any hair in public so I just bought a wig. But going out in public rarely happened by virtue of being in the hospital for the most of the day, the hospital was technically my second home although I had a couple of friends there who are in the same position as I am so they can understand everything that I'm going through. Almost everyone in that hospital know the kids with cancer there since we are there recurrently. I remember once we played treasure hunt after visiting hours, it was so hilarious it was probably the best time I've ever had.

I'll add the other chapter once I get your opinions on this story I'll update every time I get the chance to . Goodbye .