Detox

Utopia

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Mark

I hate winter, and apparently winter has a strong disliking for me aswell. I'm pretty certain  it's got something to do with my inhibition to leave any warm proximities during these months.

Naturally the idea of  dragging myself out into the freezing, teeth chattering and spine-chilling climate that is outside of any building, terrifies me. Regardless of the numerous layers I pile onto my skin.

But it's not really a choice I get to make; I need to get to work today because I'm covering for Terry and he will grind me down to a pulp if I'm not there in the next thirty minutes.

The nurses are all really relaxed about what time I arrive; but not Terry. The guy's needed a vacation for years; finally he's decided to take one.

But that doesn't mean he isn't keeping an eye on me, his got informers everywhere in that joint. He'd been working there for almost half my lifetime, I can imagine they'd pick his side over mine in the blink of an eye

I decided to make the most of the empty streets and walked to the hospital; which probably was a rookie error;  considering the only times I had done this previously was during last spring and to say the least the weather was certainly warm and not leaving me to question if my five layers of clothing maybe should have been six?

Although it had taken longer than I had hoped to become climatised with my new surroundings. I now felt comfortable in this environment. It wasn't my definition of paradise but j could see why people were so captivated  by the backdrop of the capital.

The patients weren't really that badly behaved and the staff were some of the most optimistic people, I'd met in a while.

I hoped this would rub off on me in time, improve my confidence in relationships with others. But I was still a little shy when it came to seeing my first patient, something that had been irritating me ever since square one.

The floors had just been waxed by Michael the care taker who works in the early hours, I don't know how he has the courage to wake up every morning at 12 am and start his 10 hour shift, something admirable about a man who never complains about his job.

He is probably one of the most decent human beings I've met. I was happy he enjoyed his job; because likewise I enjoyed the sensation as my feet glided across the freshly polished floor, for the  only time in my life I felt graceful and in control of the situations I was dealing with.

As I scanned the list of patients I needed to attend to until I could take my break, my breath caught in my throat as my eyes were fixated on a certain name. I didn't like the fact that she still had this effect on me, but I hadn't let her see it. If it was a choice between trying it on with one of my patients or keeping my job in the career I'd always wanted, you guessed it I wanted to keep my job.

But that didn't mean I had to ignore her presence it just meant that I had to control myself around her. I scanned the proximities before heading for her room, although it had just turned 6AM on the dot, it was the weekend and most of the staff were considerably late; I understood that most of them would have preferred to have been with their families. So I never scowled at them for being late. I would send a cheerful smile their way and suggest that a cup of coffee would erase their tardiness from my brain.

I turned the knob to her door and entered. I cleared my throat in an attempt to see whether she was awake or not, this made me feel nervous. But a calm sensation revived my mood as she greeted me with her usual sarcastic comments, "What took you so long doc, can't you see I'm dying."

She scoffed dryly, "Just kidding, I'm bored stiff though and I'm definitely in need for a Dr. Rose analysis or two." She raised her eyebrows in a cheeky manner." I tilted my head in amazement, even though Steph was clearly my patient and we hadn't by any means had any form of intimacy her flirtation never failed to amuse me. But I never asked her to stop.

When I first met Steph, I  knew there was something different about her, but I couldn't quite place my finger on it. My thinking cap kept on reminding me that she had a syndrome that would affect everything about her, but the other more passionate side of me rebuttled in amusement that she was also a speacial case. In the entire world, only five people had ever been diagnosed with what Steph had.

So she was almost like a new breed to me, but I loved testing how far she would let me explore the effects of her syndrome and Dr. Guard was impressed with my research into the field. In fact he was even considering sending some of them off to the Nation Health Organisation; but I didn't think I'd really uncovered anything worthy of their attention, yet.

So it appeared to be a win, win situation. Especially since Steph drooled over my attention, I would have done the same; if I wasn't so obtuse about the idea of allowing my feelings to develop. But so far I hadn't done anything considerably wrong, a-part from respond to her conversations.

The underlying reason that she is so unattainable makes me want to do crazy things.

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― It's wrong to deprive someone else of a pleasure so that you can enjoy one yourself, but to deprive yourself of a pleasure so that you can add to someone else's enjoyment is an act of humanity by which you always gain more than you lose. ―

― Thomas More ―