MACON'S POV
when i get back to the school, first lunch wasn't quite over yet, which was good because it gave me time to go find grayson and talk to him. maybe let him down easy.
i wasn't gonna lead him on and play games if i liked ethan, and if grayson was the guy i thought he was, he would understand.
i found grayson seconds after walking back into the school at his locker, tossing a few chips into his mouth.
his gaze landed on me as i approached him and a smile immediately took over his face.
"hey mac." he chirps, looking back into his locker.
"can we talk?" i ask, wanting to get straight to the point.
grayson immediately stops what he's doing and looks to me, realizing this is a serious matter and closes his locker, "yeah sure."
"let's not do it here." i grab grayson's arm and pull him to the exit, which was only a few feet away. we walked a little along the pathway until we were hidden from the sight of the other people inside the hallway.
here it goes.
i turn to grayson and let go of his arm, taking a deep breath and looking down to the ground, kicking a few leaves with my foot.
"what's up mac?" grayson asks, concern laced within his tone. he takes his finger and tucks it under my chin, making me look up to him.
"tell me what's wrong." he coos. i hated having to do this to him.
he deserves someone that'll love him like no other, though. this is for the best. and no matter what, i have to tell him.
i took another deep breathe, "grayson, we can't keep doing this anymore."
he frowns, "what do you mean?" he says, almost in a whisper.
"i mean that i can't keep doing this with you, when i don't like you, that's not fair to you." i reply, "i like ethan, gray." i finish.
i scan grayson's face for a reaction, and he looked so disappointed. i knew i had just hurt him.
"you don't like him." grayson says indignantly, "you love him." he rubs the side of my arm and shoots me a smile.
"i'm sorry grayson." i whisper, giving him a small smile.
"no no no, don't be." he exclaims, he ducks his head low before saying his next few words, "can i just do one thing though?"
without saying anything, i nod my head and look up at him, watching as he cups my face softly and places his soft lips on mine but it didn't feel right.
"wow." someone says, causing grayson and i to pull apart from our short embrace. i look behind me in the direction the voice came from, seeing ethan standing there, a blank expression on his face, his arms dangling at his sides.
"ethan," i walk toward ethan but he backs away, shaking his head as he looks at the ground.
way to go macon, you hurt this boy once again.
"no mac" he sniffles, lifting his head up, tears threatening to spill from his eyes, "you can't keep doing this to me."
"ethan please, let me explain." i whisper, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath in an attempt to calm my heart beat.
i cant lose him.
"explain what?" his voice cracks, a tear escaping and running down his face. i take a step closer to him and grab his hand, this time he doesn't pull away.
i take a second to think about what i want to say, there's so much i need to get off my chest and there's so much i need to tell him.
"that's what i thought." ethan says, pulling his hand away from my grip. i stare back at him, reaching for his hand, but he continues i to take steps backwards, "have fun with him, i'm not letting you hurt me anymore." he nods his head towards grayson, waving me off and walking away.
ouch.
i turn back around to face grayson, i could feel the tears running down my face. i shake my head, trying to regain my composure by taking a couple breathes.
grayson walks up to me and wraps his big arms around my body. he whispers sweet nothings in my ear as i cry into his chest, he runs his hand through my hair until i'm fully calm, and then he pulls away.
"are you okay?" he asks. i nod, a light sniffle sounding from my lips, "go get him mac, it's not too late."
i look up at grayson, my eyes wide, but i don't hesitate as i run in the direction of ethan. i run through the hallway and out to the opposite parking lot, where i found ethan sitting in his car in his normal spot by the bushes. i approached his car carefully and looked through the passenger window. his head was in his hands as he leaned back against the seat, cries leaving his mouth.
he looked so broken.
i pull the passenger door open, causing ethan's head to snap up in my direction, his eyes stay on me as i plop down in his passenger seat and pull the door closed behind me.
"what are you- " he begins, but i don't give him time to finish.
"when you kissed me did you feel like you were on top of the world? like your insides were on fire, but in a good way? did you feel that spark that everyone in those movies talks about?" he nods his head, looking down at the seat.
"yeah me too." i say, a tear dropped from my eye without me even realizing i had begun crying.
"why do you hate me macon?" ethan whispers after a moment, closing his eyes as he reaches for my hand and grips it tightly.
my heart broke. he thinks i hate him.
"e, i don't. what i feel for you is so far from hate. and you don't have to believe me, after everything i've put you through and the way i've treated you, you could spit in my face and walk away and i would understand." i say honestly, he looks up again, his gaze landing on my face, "i didn't realize i needed you until it was too late, ethan. how stupid of me." i shake my head, letting the tears fall down my face at a rapid pace. ethan lifts his hand and wipes my tears away all whilst looking in my eyes, "and i was gonna tell you earlier but laci was there and i, i felt so bad to do that to you, especially when it looked like you were moving on." i continue, "i couldn't do that to you ethan." i choke out, "and i kissed grayson because he likes me and he wanted just one last time to kiss me before i went after you because i need you." i admit. silence fell upon us for a few seconds, ethan letting out a long sigh.
"let me ask you something macon." ethan says. i look at him, hope filling my eyes, "would it be stupid of me, if i forgave you?" he softly says.
"that's up to you ethan." i reply, his hand traces along my jawline, and i lean my face into ethan's hand.
"mac, i need time." ethan says, rubbing his thumb gently across my cheek.
i look up at him through my eyelashes and smile a light smile, "that's okay." i whisper, kissing his thumb as it runs across my lips, "take all the time you need, i promise i'll wait." the bell to get to class rings from inside but we don't care, we just sit there in his car , appreciating each other as i gaze into his eyes and fall even deeper in love with their hazel color.
being this close to ethan brought a comforting but jumpy feeling to my heart, a feeling only he could make me feel.
"i love you." he cries, another tear falling down his now bright red face. i reach my hand up and wipe it away, cherishing his soft skin and the way it felt to touch it once again as sniffles escaped both our mouths.
i smile as i say my next three words, "i love you."
he scrunches up his brows, causing my heart to drop.
"thanks for coming after me." he smiles.
"i'd do anything for you, ethan."
hello!
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