saltines and capri-suns {tomtord}

15~ the flaws of a perfect

"fuck you!" edd screamed at matt, shutting the door behind him. matt was in pure shock, tears threatening to form in his baby blue eyes.

"why? why does he hate me tord?" matt sobbed.

tord brought the taller male into a clumsy embrace, trying to comfort the ginger. he was crying uncontrollably, tord hated it; it broke his heart. he hated to see the normally smiling, laughing male sobbing.

"he doesn't hate you matt...  he just going  through things right now."

"lies. lies. lies! he said i was a mistake who was never supposed to be born."

"edd has problems, matt. give him time and he will accept and forgive you."

"yeah right, he's been such a dick since i took him on our first date. he threatened to hit me, tord. hit me! he's been swearing me out non-stop. i miss the edd i fell in love with," matt cried helplessly.

the red male could do nothing but rub small circles in the purple male's back to try and calm him down. edd had been acting like an asshole for days now, swearing everyone out, getting stressed. it honestly triggered tord's anxiety.

tord pushed matt back slightly so that he could look him in the eyes. there was so much fear and hurt in them. they looked blank and dead at the same time.

"hey, fuck edd. i'll take you out today, okay? we can hang out," tord gave matt the best reassuring smile he could give.

"yeah... okay," matt sniffed, and blew his nose on the sleeve of his sweater. "but wouldn't tom be mad when he comes back from the liquor store? weren't you two going to go on a date today?"

"well... you're going through a lot and need some distraction, tom can wait. if he gets mad at you for whatever reason, i can handle it."

"okay."

tord took matt's wrist and guided him outside of the house and to his car. he hasn't used his car in years since edd drove him everywhere. everything was still the same and musty, the same norski licence plate was there. he was surprised that none of the homeless people in the neighborhood had taken it.

the two got into the car. tord missed the smell of his car, the weird musty smell he could never get out of it. he missed the coffee stain on the drivers seat. he missed the dice that were hanging from the front mirror. he missed it all.

"so... where do you want to go?" tord glanced over at matt who still looked traumatized.

"w-would you mind if i drove?" matt asked in a small voice.

tord hesitated, the ginger had a mental tole on him and he wasn't sure if it was safe for him to be driving. he knew matt was in a state in which he couldn't do a lot of things but he was just going to let him do it anyways.

"fuck it, go ahead." 

they switched seats and matt shakily set his hands on the driver's wheel. he looked so scared of everything, terrified. he acted as if his life was at stake.

"where we headin' captain?" tord joked and actually managed to get a chuckle out of the ginger.

"somewhere i'd like to show you, i feel like i can trust you."

the car started with a soft purr and the musty smell of the car got stronger. tord inhaled deeply, he loved that smell. 

after a small period of time, the car pulled up at a small forest. it looked run down and neglected for years and years. no one had been there in forever.

"we're here."

"why you dragging us to haunted places, matt?" tord joked.

matt bit back.

"it's NOT haunted for your information pretty boy," matt rolled his eyes with a smile on his pale lips.

"oh so now i'm the pretty boy, i thought that was your nickname, pretty boy," tord laughed and set a hand on matt's shoulder.

"whatever, pretty boy."

getting out of the small red car, matt pulled on tord's hoodie sleeve and dragged him into the woods. after a few scratches and scrapes later, they came across a small abandoned playground. it looked like a graveyard of broken dreams.

tord cringed as he spotted a ripped up bear stuffed animal crusted with crimson blood. this place was like one of those haunted mazes during halloween at theme parks. he had no idea why matt brought him here.

"this is it," matt flourished, showing off the park like it was a trophy.

"but why? why did you bring me here?"

"i used to come here as a kid, it's a special spot for me," matt gave a sad smile. "but stuff happened, leading to this park becoming abandoned. i still come here though."

matt sat on one of the rusty swings, gesturing for tord to sit on the one next to him. tord carefully sat down, afraid he could break the gentle swing. it really was peaceful but scary at the same time, tord loved it.

"can i tell you how i really feel?" matt whispered into the crisp afternoon air like the wind was listening to him closely.

"sure," tord responded with a fragile voice, afraid if he spoke too loud that the wind would simply shatter.

"i really, really love edd. i don't think he loves me like i love him. i have a deep love for him. i feel like i can't live in a world that edd isn't in, i just don't understand. it just hurts, sorry."

"you know what? that's exactly how i feel for tom. i love him so much even though in the beginning i had so many doubts and my anxiety was always chasing me, but putting your trust in another person is so special and heart warming, if you understand what i'm trying to say."

"i think i do."

tord leaned over the gap between them and engulfed matt in his arms. he felt like the two had truly bonded and we're better than just friends, best friends perhaps. maybe even brothers, they felt as if they were there for each from that point in time till the end of time.

"if edd is still blind and doesn't realize how much you care for him, he's missing out. if he's blind, find someone who can make you truly happy. don't stay trapped in a bottle of emotions forever, matt. i'll reassure you and tell you i'll always be here for you from this point and on," tord gave the happiest smile he had ever given in his life.

tord could then feel tears staining the black and white jacket that tom had given him what felt like eons ago. he felt like nothing could ruin his happy life. 

how wrong he was.