saltines and capri-suns {tomtord}

22~ swallowing diamonds

oh shit. this was bad.

tord scrolled through the long ass text message that was staring back at him threateningly. an aching pain felt his whole body as he read it over at least ten times. tord felt sick to his stomach, he felt the bile stuck in his throat, refusing to spill out of his pale lips. he let his face go white.

he paced uncontrollably as another text appeared onto his screen. this was so fucking bad. his mind was racing a marathon that was never ending. he knew he wasn't going to be able to sleep tonight

xxx-xxx-xxxx: Dear our loyal member, we have sent this message in much urgency searching  and pleading for you to come back to our humble base. our red leader has well... passed as you may call it. tord, you must decide whether or not to come back to us, it is your decision and we will not stop you. but orders being orders, we have strict foundation rules of eliminating anyone who holds information about us but is no longer part of us. you know the rules, you've been on watch for too long and the head council is becoming impatient of the circumstances you are under. you have had your fun for too long. think on your choices.

tord: how long do i have?

xxx-xxx-xxxx: one week, sir.

fuck.

that wasn't enough time.

what was he going to say to everyone?

what was going to happen to everyone?

tord jumped around as a small knock resounded on the frame of his door. tom stood there with a lazy, dumb grin on his face. 

"hey babe," he gave a half-assed wave to his norwegian boyfriend but still smiled like his day was going golden. he noticed the stressful bags under tord's eyes and slowly began to frown with a loving concern. "rough day?"

"can we not talk about it?" tord ran a hand through his hair to try to calm himself down somehow. he threw his phone onto his bed without a care in the entire goddamn world. 

"but i don't like to see you like this," tom's frown deepened and his eyebrows were now furrowed in a irritated anger of being unacknowledged of what was going on. he shuffled miserably over to tord and wrapped his arms around his skinny waist. "please tell me what's going on."

tord sighed and then let his own arms slide around tom's neck, he gazed up helplessly under tom's gentle hold on him. tord nuzzled himself into his hoodie, kind of enjoying the heat radiating off of tom. he was so soft.

"i can't talk about this one love, i'm sorry," tord buried himself deeper into the crook of tom's neck. 

"you better not be cutting again or i will literally kill you."

"why would i be doing that? i'm happy," tord grinned.

"pft, i'm flattered."

"haha, i'm not talking about you, i'm talking about my cookies in the other room."

"you're such a fucking tease," tom laughed and poked tord's side, making the other giggle without intention.

"stop," tord complained with the smile still plastered on his face.

tom pulled away and went down and placed a kiss on tord's forehead. god how he loved him. more than anything. anything in the world.

"do you want to go out tonight?" tom changed subjects quickly.

"no, i'm not in the mood right now."

"cuddles?"

"what's with all the threats of love and affection?"

"you just seem upset and i want to make you feel better."

tord's face turned back into the worried one he only wore moments before; his mind leading back to the phone that stared at him coldly from its place resting on the bed. it hurt, the stare hurt him on levels of pain.

"see? you're stressed today. at least let me be with you right now."

"fine," tord had a migraine now, he didn't want to deal with this at this moment.

tom plopped down onto tord's bouncy mattress and propped himself up so he was against the wall. he patted to the place on his lap so tord could sit with him. after the pair was set up comfortably for the both of them, tom pulled out his phone and rested his chin on tord's shoulder.

the screen flicked on to show a picture of tom taking a selfie with a grumpy tord. tord glanced away, he didn't want to lose tom, he really didn't. he felt the tears prick his eyes, oh shit. he can't cry here.

"how about i put on some weeb shit just to cheer you up?" tom asked.

"you calling me a weeb, bitch?" tord glowered at tom in a teasingly way.

"maybe i am."

"bitch take that back."

"weeb."

"frickin frick you. you frickin frick."

"no you."

"fuck."

tord burst out laughing. he thought that was the funniest joke he ever made even though it was kind of dumb. tom soon joined on the laughter, it was honestly pretty dumb.

"that was the dumbest thing you've ever laughed at."

"shush."

from the corner of his eye, tord saw his phone vibrate, indicating another message was now in his inbox. his stomach dropped so low in his body he actually felt like puking. he held his stomach in a revolting manner, he felt the flowers blossoming from their cores. the thorns tearing through his sides. black and white washed over the normal colorful colors of the normal world. 

he couldn't speak when tom asked him what was wrong, when he hugged him tightly. his throat throbbing, closing. he began to cough as he choked on the own air he was breathing. blood seeped at a leisurely pace onto his convulsing hands. he felt a trembling shutter shaking him to wake up of the fantasy that he was living in.

he couldn't keep all of this.

it was slipping through his fingers.

he was trying to swallow diamonds.