Jack Frost rushes to the hidden island of Corona in the hopes of finding his lone believer-A girl who's spent her life trapped in a faraway tower. The two quickly become friends, then must hastily formulate a plan to breach Mother Gothel's ravenous grasp.
Little did they know, things were about to get much darker than they'd originally seemed.
title/cover:
title: it's a cute play on the concepts of each story, and reminds me of Tangled. short, cute, and relevant
score: 5/5
cover:
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this is SO cute i can't emphasize how adorable this is. it's simple with the two main characters and beautiful bright colors that go along well with the light mood of the story.
score: 5/5
total score: 10/10
summary/hook:
summary: the first two sentences are great. this format is so nice in summaries because it introduces the main characters without being too revealing or straight-forward, and without giving away their names, because it's sort of already implied. right away, i'm excited to read the story. the last sentence in fine but i found it breaking the smooth flow a bit. maybe tweak it a little so it's something similar to:
Little did they know, their futures hold secrets darker than they'd ever expected.
this would also compliment the tense of the rest of the summary. just a suggestion, though!
score: 4/5
hook:
It was a somber, stormy night in the village of Corona. The wind was blowing so strong, it was as if a giant was crouched by the shores, exhaling fast and hard breath directly its way. The rain was falling so ruthlessly, it was as if an angry faucet opened itself in the skies above.
instantly, we are thrown into the scene, which is something that is really effective in a prologue. the beautiful description sets a tone for the story. a hurricane incoming is symbolic of the mood of the story. well done. the mention of a giant is also clever because of the fairy-tale aspect of this story.
this leads right into a story all to familiar: the story of Rapunzel's past. even though i knew exactly what it was going to be, the author wrote it in a way that builds suspense and still pulls at the heartstrings. no criticisms here.
score: 5/5
total score: 9/10
grammar/flow:
there were some mistakes i saw in grammar, but nothing major that can be off-putting. just requires some editing. the flow of the story is nice, as well. the author gives us Rapunzel's and Frost's background stories, leading us into their worlds, then bringing them together. there are some areas where either words are missing or misused, so the author should do a quick edit.
the chapters are a bit short, and this is because the story doesn't have that much description. not that it's completely lacking, but some descriptions of the characters, and some world-building would enhance the story a lot, especially because it's all fantasy.
score: 8.5/10
plot:
if i'm being honest, i've never read a disney fanfic because i've simply never given them a chance. however, i learned my lesson with this story. the author takes two well-known stories and ties them together in a really heartfelt way. the author doesn't go too in-depth of the world, which is something that could benefit the story a lot. even though most of us know what to expect, some details about where they are would help the plot. other than that, i have no criticisms of the plot. i am ten chapters in and absolutely hooked.
score: 9/10
characters:
these two characters are so popular and favorites of many. because of this, i can see how it may have been a little difficult capturing their exact personalities, but the author does it well. Frost and Rapunzel come alive in the dialogue and through their interactions with other characters. the supporting characters are also very well-known and it's really exciting seeing how they interact with one another. i don't want to spoil too much, so i'll limit my comments about how they interact.
like i've said before, some more descriptions of the characters and their emotions would be lovely.
score: 9.5/10
all in all, this story is adorable and a really fun read. though things do indeed become darker, the author brings back characters that we love and miss. i tried to stay unbiased during this interview, because these are two of my favorite characters, and found myself loving the story nonetheless. i apologize that i could not offer more help; i didn't see many things that the author should change. i recommend this read to any disney and fairy-tale fan. the author does these adored characters justice, and brought me back to the stories i've missed from my childhood!
highest score so far.
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