All of Me

thirty one • after the fire

• • •

After the debacle with Gray's mom, I thought he'd be a mess for the foreseeable future, but he was right when he said that all he needed was closure. The weekend was a bit strange, none of us quite sure how to react after the outburst on Saturday morning, but the weirdness was dissolved when Mom and Tad cooked roast chicken on Sunday as a practice Thanksgiving and toasted to us.

Us being the four of us. We're a family now. That hits me sometimes when I'm not expecting it. When Mom and I first moved here back on a rainy May night, I never thought that our friendly neighbors would become our family but here they are, and I wouldn't change a thing.

The hateful voice I live with scolds me for thinking that, as though it means I'm glad Dad's dead. I'm not. My heart still lurches each time I see the slowly-growing tree, every time I water its roots, but I can't change the past. I can just be excited for the future, and I am.

I'm most excited for the near future. As in, the next few days. The next few hours, even. Class has officially broken up for the Thanksgiving break, almost a full week before Thanksgiving actually happens, so I'm heading down to Cincinnati with Liam for a bit.

As much as I love his family and as excited as I am to go back, I can't help but be a little apprehensive. His dad's there this week and after what Liam and his brothers said last time I was there, I'm nervous about meeting someone so severe. He sounds like a no-nonsense guy.

Gray and I are in Starbucks, hanging out for an hour before Liam's final class finishes. Navya already left. Her parents picked her up to drive down to Indianapolis to spend the week with family, so Gray's alone with Mom and Tad until I get back. I thought he'd be annoyed, but he actually seems kinda psyched.

When he drops down next to me with a couple of hot chocolates in his hands, he grins and licks the cream and says, "By the time you get back, I'm gonna be your mom's favourite child. That's your punishment for abandoning us."

I laugh and roll my eyes. It's so good having him back in good spirits. After he sobered up on Sunday, once his mom had left, he and Tad talked a lot about the future. Gray has held fast to his insistence that he's done with his mom, and he has seemed so much better since he cut her out.

"You totally would've abandoned us too if you'd had the chance to spend a few days with Navya," I say. "I'm just capitalizing on opportunities to advance my relationship."

He guffaws at that, his grin painfully wide. "You can't confuse me with big words, you know. I'm a very advanced reader. And human in general. I know that means you're gonna bone."

"Gray!"

"Sorry, make love," he says with a cheeky glint in his eye. I've really missed that glint. "I mean, you're about to spend four days with this guy in his home, in his bedroom, and you both wanna do it. It's gonna get done." He wiggles his finger at me. "I know you want it."

"Do you have to be so loud about it?" I take my hot chocolate from him and lick the cream that's starting to sink and drip. "You know what?"

He crosses his legs and rests his elbow on his knee, his chin in his hand, and makes intense eye contact. "What?"

"I've really missed you."

He sits up a bit. He looks surprised, then his face falls a bit. "I've missed me too," he says. "I kind of feel like some alien has been living inside me for the past ... however long it is since we saw her in the park." He stretches and shakes out his arms. "I think she took it when she left. For good this time." He gives me a serious nod.