All of Me

thirty-seven • lose it

• • •

I'm numb. Gray's arms are around me. Navya's still talking. She's been talking for over an hour, her words running away with her as she tries to balance telling me the truth and saving my feelings, but she doesn't know much more than the barest facts. Liam's frat is on probation. That's why he's been so busy this week. Not regular frat stuff. An investigation. A competition.

When I can persuade my hands to work, I lean away from Gray and reach for my phone but he clamps his hand over mine.

"Don't text him," he says, but I'm not going to. I can't talk to Liam right now. I don't know what the hell I can say. Shaking off Gray's hand, I load up Twitter and type sola theta chi theta into the search bar. There are a few tweets already, spreading rumors of a suspension. One catches my eye, a tweet belonging to a username and face I don't recognize:

lol so i go to SoLa and apparently our theta chi theta chapter just got done for holding a hog roast. so gross. idk why they'd even WANT to fuck the fatties. sounds more like a punishment

My skin crawls. Hog roast. I guess I'm just some pig he had to sleep with.

Navya takes my phone, but not before I catch a glimpse of another tweet. A blurry picture of Liam and me eating at the ice cream place, and a caption that reads I guess we know who won lmao. fatten up that piggy #sola #thetachitheta #oinkoink

Hot tears spill down my cheeks. When I open my mouth to speak, only a choked sob comes out. Gray throws his arms around me again and I let him. His cheek is damp and his breath is hot against my ear when he calls Liam an asshole. Navya tries to take my phone from me but when I feel it buzz, I grip it tighter.

"Storie," she murmurs. We both glance at the screen. As soon as I see Liam's name, I open the message. At first, all I see is the last message I sent him, the words I regret now: I wish you were here. Then I register his text below it.

LIAM: me too. I'm coming over.

Navya and Gray read the text too. Sadness fills Navya's eyes; indignation takes over Gray's face.

"No he fucking isn't," he says. The hate in his voice doesn't suit him. "Tell him not to. Tell him you know."

But I can't. My fingers are frozen. I can't believe it, let alone type it. No matter how much fury is swirling in my gut, I can't bring myself to reply. So I leave Liam on read, I turn off my phone, and I lie down with my hands clasped over my stomach. My huge, disgusting stomach. Gross enough to win a contest I didn't know I was playing.

"Do you think it's true?" I ask. "Is it really true?"

Navya says nothing. Her silence answers my question. My heart sinks.

"Maybe he didn't know," she says, her voice weak. "Maybe he wasn't part of the contest."

Her words sound fake. She doesn't sound convinced. It's not her fault, though – I can't be mad at her for not wanting to hurt my feelings. I just feel like such an idiot. A helpless whale of an idiot. And I clearly have atrocious taste in guys.

"I was careful," I say. My voice comes out barely louder than a whisper, pathetically hoarse. "I was so cautious. I was convinced it was a joke for so long. But he convinced me he loved me. He lied to me."

"No." Gray looms over me, his face filling my vision. "Even if he did know about this disgusting bullshit, that doesn't mean the whole thing was fake. He does love you. I don't think that's a lie."