soft spot // zhong chenle

6.

EUNBAE POV

you know that nasty feeling of lying to someone? yea, it happened to me one time. one time when i had to tell chenle i lost my feelings towards him. he didn't even break down or look shocked. as if nothing groundbreaking has happened. but he broke up with his one and a half-year girlfriend...

i know it must not seem like a long time, but for me, it was the time of my life. i loved chenle since junior year in high school, but we started dating in june last year.

it was the best summer of my life. we went on a trip to busan, to have fun at the beach and swim in the sea. we had the most romantic picnics you could ever imagine. the sound of waves hitting the ground, light sea breeze and the unforgettable smell of nighttime - all of that accompanied is throughout the whole trip.

i know i wasn't his first girlfriend. he dated some other girl for two or three years, but they broke up for some unknown reason. i feel bad for that girl, she lost such an amazing guy. but chenle told me not to worry about her. she is in the past, and we are the present.

i felt like i was the only girl in the world so happy. chenle always talked about how we would get married, move to some big city and live together. sounds like childish dreams, right? i agree, but should we be blamed for that? our relationship was so pure and childish, it mustn't surprise anyone.

but...he changed. he changed so much, after going back to school. we still spent time together, but i didn't feel the spark between us, that was there before. he acted weirdly, stopped answering my calls and texts, and almost completely ignored me. i always believed it was stress, as it is our last year of school, the most important one. but no. he still managed to get good grades, and remain teachers' favorite.

it came to a point when i couldn't put up with this anymore. but i loved chenle so badly, i couldn't even imagine a breakup. but, no matter how painful it could've been to me, i had to do it. i had to make him free, as it looked like he found the time we spent together a burden.

i asked him to meet me near the locker room entrance, and when he came, he didn't seem bothered by me standing there. loud music was playing in his headphones, as he stared down at his phone, texting someone. i have to admit, he looked attractive. but i came there for a whole different reason.

'chenle...i have to tell you something...'

'what is it?' he answered, still staring at his phone. i sadly hummed and took one of his earphones out.

'hey, what are yo-'

'we need to break up.'

i said in a very serious tone. chenle looked at me with his eyes wide open, but I couldn't see any sorrow or shock in them. as if he saw this coming.

'why?'

'the problem is you, chenle. i don't feel loved anymore. i can't see "us" anymore. you became so ignorant towards me. even now, you are still staring into your phone...'

i wiped my tears away and took a deep breath.

'you know what? fine! go wherever the heck you want, do whatever the heck you want, but i don't want to see you anymore, okay? i don't care about you anymore, as much as you don't care about me! i don't love you! i really don't!'

i almost yelled at him, but he still seemed unbothered. i took my bag, put it on my shoulder and ran away to talk to naeri. she was one of those who really cared about me, even though we never really talked. i feel bad for ignoring her some times, because all she wanted to do was to help me, and i was broken.

that's how it happened. almost two years of my time spent with chenle had gone to waste. it is painful to think about, but everything happens for a reason. and breaking up with chenle must have a much deeper purpose.

but i still love him...