Thank you.

Ciel

Ciel.
Ciel.
Ciel.

That's all I used to ask for isn't it?
"Where's Ciel?"
"Seen Ciel?"
"I miss Ciel".

But you weren't the person I wanted, I wanted the old you. The you that was Ravenstorm, the you that calmed my storm instead of making another. It wasn't your fault, it hardly ever was. I blame myself each day for us not working because I was too busy captivated by someone else, the man I thought was gone.

The night with the fireflies is what I will tell anyone if they ask about you. The way your eyes just lit up at my stupidity, eating those fireflies.

I've loved many, I've loved you most.

But we didn't last, no relationship like ours does. It was so perfect at the start,
Laying against eachother and letting the world pass by. The humourous convosation, the deep sorrowful ones, the ones where you're deeply insulting me. I can't say I want them back, but I can't say I miss them.

You're confusing Ciel, you always have been. You are the type of person that you can't read, you can't figure out. But once you do, you realise you're so misunderstood.

Each time I think of you, I can't help but smile (and cry).
I wonder how you are.
I wonder if you ever think of me as anything other than a bitch.
I wonder if your smile still drives everyone crazy.
I wonder if your caustic humour still makes others squirm.

You weren't just an amazing brother, the most caring boyfriend or a Drakar. You were a permanent inspiration to everyone who goes through a lot. After all this time, I still care deeply about you.

Draco, I can't apologise.
I can't regret it either, you're one of the reasons I've changed and became who I am today. No matter how many times I said sorry to you, I wouldn't change. I was in a fixed mindset but obviously I've experienced a lot since you've left. If I saw you one day I'd give a small smile and listen. I'd listen to that voice that once got me to sleep at night, I'd listen to that stern voice that corrected me each time. But I'll also listen to your heart.
I don't want my millionth chance as Graylyn, I would appreciate my millionth chance of friendship for the person I am today.

But I can't say I want that either, John.

Yours truly,
Monochrome.