I haven't had much to thank everyone for recently but your writing. The only thing that has kept me together is re-reading all of those deleted chapters I have saved in my phone to remember you by. I can't count how many times I've found myself reading or even whispering the verses to myself just to keep me strong.
My friend asked me the other day how I was coping since it was near the date of the night I had lost you, I said I was doing fine. I'm not doing fine anymore, The hole you once filled is empty and useless just like everything else I can remember.
I'm holding onto the past as if it will protect me from the future, I'm writing endless things for you that you will never get a chance to read.
I'm remembering each love poem I ever wrote you and turning it into my future.
I'm living my life and imagining your beside me living it too.
I can imagine you now, mad that I'm being so unhealthy with these emotions and you threaten to cuddle me till I smile again.
But I'm smiling for you now and all of the things we would have done in the future if you weren't gone.
I'm smiling because that's the only thing keeping me holding on.
