Honestly, your letter was the worst.
I woke up this morning and I thought of your brothers, then it finally hit that you weren't here with them. It felt like suddenly everything wasn't okay, that you never lived at all and really you were just surviving. I'm crying while writing this, and I don't doubt that your brothers are too.
They've both grown up to be amazing people, haven't they? Tate has a beautiful wife, My best friend Alena, and Jerome is just the most happiest a person has ever made me. I think I'd like this letter to end up with me thanking you for teaching them, teaching them to be the great people I love so dearly. I know you didn't think the best of me and will never be able to read this, but it just feels empty seeing Jerome and Tate. I couldn't tell them, I couldn't break this to them but they'll Probally read this.
It's kind of awful not being able to describe in words what I'm feeling, because even if I wrote a million words it would never be enough.
I didn't get to say goodbye, but I hope you're out there watching us and realising you weren't just a brother. You were part of the foundation of our lives.
~ I guess this has to be goodbye, Ellie.
