The Distance Between Dreams and Reality

Reality...

I kept my eyes close, hoping Aiden would appear. Hoping that that was not a dream. After a few minutes, I gave up and opened my eyes. I felt my heart breaking as I looked down at my desk, at the drawings of my "dream". Anger boiled in my stomach, waiting to come out. Using the last of my strength I stood up, walked to my bed and sat down, scooted back until my back hugged the wall, pulled my knees to my chest, and place a pillow on them. Then I hugged them, laid my head on my knees, and let go.

In my mind, I was wondering who was screaming? Why my cheeks were thick with tears? Why my heart hurts so much? All I could think about was the pain in my chest and head. My eyes started to hurt from the strain and tears they are going through. What felt like an eternity later warm arms were wrapped around me. Hope sparked inside of me and looked up to only see my aunt June. Disappointment and heartbreak washed over me once again, and I place my head in my pillow and cried even harder.

I managed to ask my aunt what time it was...I didn't like the answer.

"It's three in the morning, honey." Aunt June whispered trying to sooth me. "Did you have another dream?" She asked softly. I nodded. "Oh honey, it's going to be ok. I promise." She pulled me to her chest and softly hummed a slow lullaby from my childhood.

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I don't know how aunt June managed to carry me down to the kitchen. (Which is on the main floor). She set me on the stool with a grunt, and I had stopped crying. My throat hurts, but other than that...well everything else has this empty...numb feeling...

I looked down to see that a bowl of my favorite cereal had appeared...huh..ok. The initial shock was quickly replaced with the terrible numbness. I automatically picked up the spoon and started eating the cereal. After a few minutes of eating, I realized aunt June hasn't said anything. I glanced up and saw her staring at me with a pained expression. She caught me looking at her and placed a fake smile on her face...which soon disappeared.

"Crystal..." She said, with a frustrated expression...oh no. Sighing, I place my spoon back in my bowl, propped my elbow on the table, and rested my chin on my hand. I have a feeling this is not going to be a pleasant conversation. "Crystal...you scared me to death. I wish you would just stop having those unnecessary dreams." That took me back, "Well, either that or stop with the hours filled with screaming and crying. God knows it would save us all some sleep."

My eyes widened in surprise and hurt. I have had these dreams since I was a kid...even before the fire, and she is telling me to just stop having them!?

"It is not like I can control these dreams!" I snapped, " Do you think I like having them, or even the after effects?"

"Well no..."

"Then why are you telling me to stop having them when I obviously have no control over them!" The numbness was still there but is now being hidden by the sudden anger and hurt. I glared at her, as she lightly placed her hands over mine, her expression was now stricken.

"I..." Aunt June said in a softer tone, "Crystal, I am not trying to tell to stop your dreams...I know you cannot control them..."

"Then why are you saying this?" I snapped.

"Well...as you know there are things we can do to...help with the dreams.." She said with a steady voice. I bit my tongue trying to hear her out...even though I do not think I'm going to like this idea, "Like...therapy..?"

"NO!" I practically screamed out from anger and surprise, "No...I...I am not going into therapy...not again...no.."

Aunt June slammed her fist onto the table causing it to shudder. "Couldn't you at least try? Try to get some help...to get better!" She pleaded, with red cheeks and shimmering eyes, "You could at least try to talk to others. Talk to friends...bring them over, or try to make friends. You could try to talk to ME or to your uncle? I want...need you to show emotion...to find your way out of the dark cave you have lost your soul in...your light. In...instead of being this zombie who stalks around this old mansion trying to find her way out. Try to be a real teenager for once...get out, watch movies with friends, or at least get into trouble!" Throughout her whole speech, she walked over to my side, fell to her knees and took my hands.

I have no idea what to say...all I could do was sit there in total shock...unable to breathe or speak a word. As I stared into her tear-filled eyes, so many good and bad memories filled my vision.

Every time she looked at me with her smile...both when it was filled with light and hope, and when it was filled with grief and anger. When she held my hand at the funeral, lending me her strength and love. She's right...of course, she's right.

Ever since my family died I have been a total zombie...pushing everyone I have ever cared for away. Unable to let them see how miserable I was...unable to let them be disappointed in me. Making a decision I zoned back into my aunt's eyes and took a deep breath.

"Yes...." I sighed and nodded, "I'll do it...I'll do it for you, Aunt June." Her eyes brightened and the biggest brightest smile formed on her lips reminding me of a kindergartener who just took a bite out of her favorite cookie. She jumped up and hugged me which caused us and the stool to fall to the cold marble floor. the stool fell with a clank beside us, while we laughed and rolled on the floor like two little kids.

Uncle Jean ran to the door, shotgun in hand, and a fierce glint in his eyes, causing Aunt June and me to laugh even harder. He looked down at us, and the fierce expression turned to one of confusion. "What the hell are you to doing down there this early? And why are you on the ground making a commotion, I thought you were robbers!" I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe, and my eyes blurred with tears. I cried with relief...I was with my family again.

Around six, Aunt June and I had settled down and Uncle Jean went upstairs to put his gun away. After he left we cleaned up and I finished my cereal. When Uncle Jean came back he had a board game in hand, I jogged over to look at it and yelped in surprise and joy. I took it and set the game onto the table. "The game of real life" is my all-time favorite board game. As we played the joy of the moment blocked out the last memories of the dream.

I was about to win...when three loud knocks came from the door. I looked up at the clock to see what time it was. 8:23...huh....it's still morning. Aunt June looked up and frowned, then looked at Uncle Jean, "Jean, would you please go let Aron in, I forgot he was coming."

She turned to me and my puzzled expression, "My best friends son, Aron Haruki, is coming to stay with us for a while. He will be staying in room 54, and if he needs ANYTHING you WILL help him." She demanded me. I sat there and gaped at her while the words sank in.

"Why?" I asked stupidly and mentally slapping my own face.

"Because I said so." She replied a little too defensively. She must have seen my expression because she softened her tone a little. "His parents just died in a car crash a few weeks ago. So he is staying here until he graduates next year" I looked at her sullen eyes in horror, "I thought you could help him get through the pain since you went through the same thing..." She looked behind me and through the door, " Come, I want you to meet Aron."

She came around the table and gave my shoulder a squeeze. Then stepped out the door to greet our guest, and to give me a few seconds to let the words sink in. "Wow..." I whispered to myself, "I guess they like orphans. I guess I should go meet Aron Haruki." Sighing, I stood up, pushed my stool in and turned to leave.

Instead of a door, I found a really tall boy towering over me with a smirk on his face. I screamed and covered my mouth, trying to hide the high pitched scream. Trying to hide my embarrassment, I wrapped my arms around myself and glared at him, trying to ignore my racing heart.

His smooth crystal blue eyes started to melt my glare. I fought through it, trying not to let my anger dissolve because he's some stupid, but cute, boy. I swallowed my girly thoughts and steadied my gaze, glaring into those beautiful eyes. For some reason, they...somehow look amazed...

"Hey" He greeted me, holding out his hand. "Sorry if I scared you" The boy offered a crooked smile.