Rickian

Secrets- chapter 1

Ricky pov:

Ricky: Um Connor, can I tell you something?

Connor and I had gone to a soccer game. He didn't know this, but I was going to tell him the biggest secret i've ever had. Ever.

Connor: Sure Ricky, what's up? Is everything okay?

Good old reliable Connor.

Ricky: Yeah everything's good. I just need to tell you something.

Oh, Gosh. This was it. No turning back.

Ricky: Connor, I'm... gay.

Connor: Wow! I'm so happy for you! You got a crush on anybody?

He wiggles his eyebrows in a dirty way and I laugh.

Ricky: Yeah... I kind of do.

Connor freaks out!

Connor: Oh my gosh! Who is it?! Is it someone in o2l?!

I nod and he goes even more insane, causing people to stare. Typical Connor. After him bugging me for about fifteen minutes, I give in and tell him.

Ricky: Connor, it's Kian.

Connor kind of just stares at me and takes it all in. After a little bit of him just staring and thinking, he finally speaks up.

Connor: Well, I'm proud of you, buddy. But you forgot one tiny detail. Kian's dating Andrea. He's not gay.

I became a little bit annoyed at this, because I already knew that! I didn't need anyone to remind me. I'm already so hurt inside. And I never told anyone, but I cut myself because some days it all becomes way too much.

Ricky: Well duh! I already knew that! Why do you think I stare at Kian so much, just wishing I could have a chance to kiss him, to have him love me back. Why do you think I sit in my room all day, daydreaming about rickian actually being a thing. Why do you think I care so much?!

Again, Connor just stares at me. We sat in silence before he finally spoke up.

Connor: You really do love him, don't you?

Ricky: More than life itself.

Connor: You do realize you have to tell him.

Ricky: I know. He's my best friend though. Like, what if he's homophobic? What if he hates me?

Connor: Do you seriously think Kian would ever hate you? You have to tell him. Go. Go tell Kian.

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Kian pov:

"Kian?! KIAN!!"

That sounded like Ricky. I wonder what's up.

Kian: Ricksters! I'm up here!

I yell down to him and soon I here footsteps coming up the stairs. Ricky looks tired and out of breath. I wonder what's going on. I pat the spot next to me on the bed. He sits down hesitantly. Just because of that gesture I get worried about what he's going to say to me.

Kian: Okay, what the hell is wrong. You never act like this.

Ricky: I just have to tell you something and it's like really important.

Kian: Okay, shoot it.

Ricky: Okay these past months living in the house with you and the guys was amazing. I couldn't ask for anything better. But I've realized something that you might not understand or accept, but if I don't tell you now, I don't think I ever will.

I prepare myself for what's about to come.

Ricky: I totally understand if you don't accept or understand this, Kian, but I'm, uh, I'm gay.

I stare at him in shock. I definetly accept him, because I always will. But I don't get how I didn't see it before. Now that I look back on it, it's so obvious. I've actually questioned whether I was gay before or not, because some days I felt something when Ricky brushed my fingers with his hand while we were walking. In fact, I got butterflies each time he did it. And I don't feel butterflies when I touch or kiss Andrea at all anymore. There's no way I can ever take back what I said next.

Kian: Me too, I think. Me too.