bridge to craziness

the mother (part one)

Amara

Is here.

I don't want to feel It anymore, I can't handle it anymore.

I just can't. I feel that I'm going to go crazy If it keeps bothering me, but I know, that is what it wants.

That stupid bridge.

Amara

2 weeks before

"Joseph!" I say, "let's go, darling!"

"I'm going honey!" my husband says, I'm so excited for this, there is a concert at the bridge tonight and Joseph bought tickets, It is just what I needed, a night without the kids.

"Mama?" Astrid asks

"Yes, darling?"

"Can I go with you?" she asks in that cute, tiny voice of hers, I give her a kiss on her forehead and say:

"I'm afraid not sweetie, but Lola is going to take good care of you" and then I yell "right Lola?"

"Uh... yes, sure mom, whatever" I hear from the bedroom, I was not sure about leaving Lola alone with her sister, I mean, I don't know if she has the ability required for...

"I know what you are thinking," Joseph says behind me "and I don't like it" I turn around and hug my husband

"I was just wondering..."

"No" Joseph interrupts me "Lola is old enough, she can do it"

"So... I can't go with you" Astrid says

"I'm sorry honey, but we are going to do grown-up things, you would find it boring," Joseph explains

"Grown-up things? Like drinking smoking and doing drugs?" Astrid says we look at her surprised.

"Who-who told you that?!" Joseph asks surprised, and just a little angry,

"Lola did" she answered calmly, I glanced at Joseph, and he just said

"Well, we are not doing any drugs, so... yeah... ¡we have to go!"

That is why I love my husband.

Amara

The present

I'm so stupid.

How I dare to bring my own daughter to this place, I was too scared at that moment, I wasn't thinking about it.

I couldn't come alone to this bridge again after what happened that night.

Amara

Two weeks ago

I get off the car and my husband holds my hand, we can hear the music from here, relaxing and a bit electric jazz, we walk through the little plaza, where the restaurants could not waste the opportunity, they all had outside tables and a super planed jazz environment.

In the middle of the bridge, there was a huge platform, on it, the band was playing their beautiful music, we find a place in the first row and start to listen.

This is the perfect night, I can feel the music penetrating in my skin, it makes me feel free and powerful, my husband comes and hug me from behind, then he kisses me, we never get to share nights like this, just the two of us, without the kids, just dancing and feeling free, hugging each other from behind and kissing each other, this is the perfect moment

Until...

"Hey darling!" Joseph says "I brought a cup of wine for the most beautiful dame ever"

Joseph is next to me, right next to me, I can see his face.

But that means... he isn't the one hugging me.

I turn around, and there is no one there, the arms and lips of whoever that was are gone, and so is my power, freedom and all the good feelings that were with me, the only things left are the fear and a terrible pain.

"We have to get out of here," I say "quickly"

And all turned black.