The Old Messed-Up Movie

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I was never into Disney. Don't get me wrong. I love animated films and I appreciate "The Lion King" as much as anybody, but I always found Disney too straightforward. Too...simple.

Instead, I love what my mom unfairly calls "off-brand" cartoon movies, particularly Don Bluth films. "All Dogs Go to Heaven" was my all-time favorite. Then there's "The Land Before Time," "A Troll in Central Park," "The Secret of NIMH," and even "Rock-a-Doodle." I'm not saying they're objectively better than Disney, but I do prefer them.

My appreciation for these animated movies comes in handy at my new job. I'm a home health aide for adults with disabilities. My clients are considered violent and dangerous, but I haven't encountered a serious situation yet. Other aides have been pinned to the ground, beat up, slashed with broken glass, and worse. I only started in January, though, so I'm sure my time will come.

I spend most of my time with two clients, Caroline and Mark. They aren't related and in fact, Mark can't stand Caroline. I'm still not sure why the company put them in the same house.

Mark is very difficult. Caroline can be, but she's only been sweet toward me. She had a horrific childhood, and in addition to serious mental disabilities, she suffers heavily from PTSD. She comes off as deceptively extroverted, but has trouble speaking intelligibly and gets hostile when caregivers can't understand her.

For some reason, though, I never had trouble deciphering her words. I guess that's why she grew attached to me so fast.

On my very first day, she pulled me aside and insisted I put her "Secret of NIMH" VHS in the player. I couldn't help but notice it was in bad shape. So were the rest of her tapes. It's not her fault. She takes excellent care of them, but years of constant use and endless humidity have taken their toll.

"That means she likes you," Jesse told me. As the main assignee to the house, he'd been tasked with training me. He's three years younger than me, but took this job out of high school and never left. We're lucky to have him. He's always calm, kind, and on top of everything, even though this type of work is notorious for employee burnout.

As Caroline and I watched NIMH, the constant static, fuzz, and frame-flipping made me wince. And all of her tapes were like that. None played well, and few had anything approaching a watchable picture.

I pulled Jesse aside at the end of my shift and asked him if I could buy Caroline more movies.

"It's against the rules to just give them stuff," he said. "But maybe we can get an exception. I'll ask."

Mark ambled over, planted himself in front of us, and stared. He was allowed, of course; it was his house, after all.

"Hey, Mark," Jesse said. "Want to join us?"

"No," Mark spat contemptuously, looking disgusted. "What are you really doing? Are you going to fuck?"

"Nah. Never on the clock, man," Jesse answered.

Mark looked puzzled for a second, then grinned. "That was funny, dude." His smile dissipated into a critical sneer. "Leave some room for Jesus, guys." Then he stormed away.

To give an idea of what it's like to work with Mark, let's just say that's the least offensive interaction I've ever had with him. I know it's unkind, but that's why I prefer working with Caroline. I grew close to her quickly, which made me even more eager to replace her movie collection.

Jesse did clarify the gift-giving rules for me. Sure enough, staff members can't give presents to clients. Christmas and birthdays are exceptions, but the gifts have to be approved by the program director. Jesse took the initiative and got the approval.

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