Alan's Pov:
Darkness. Darkness was the one who embraced my oddity. The one who chose to accept me for my freakishness. The one who comforted when no one else did.
Silence. Silence was the one who stayed by me. The silent hum of the wind served as my hushed lullaby from the loneliness of the night.
Rejection. Rejection is the one causing me my anxiety. The only reason why I keep a minimum distance from everybody. The reason I try yo be perfect in other people's eyes.
I am tired. I don't know why. I want to scream, but I couldn't. I want to reach out, but I am afraid to be judged. I am sitting at the edge of my sanity at this point, and suicidal thoughts infests my mind like the plague.
Help me. I don't want to be in the pits of darkness anymore. I don't want this. I am slowly suffocating from the tight embrace darkness is giving. I don't want this anymore. My heart is clenching. My breathing is slowly getting ragged.
The once lively man is spiraling deep down until no more came from him. From the deepest part of me, hides my tiny self-confidence locked away by unexplainable anger and self-hatred.
I reach out.
I fail.
I cry.
I want help.
But the anxiety is building up inside me and makes me sick.
I tried to avoid as much as possible.
But the anger, anxiety and self-hatred all chased me into a never-ending cycle of nightmares and paralysis.
The once lively man.
Turned into a shy, monster.
Lurking.
Begging.
Crying.
Help me get out of this nightmare.
