Black Roses

chapter eight (bored)

  June twenty-fourth was the last day of school. May second, was when me and my mom last faught and I spent the night with Liam. Also the last time we'd talked to one another. For some reason, I still wasn't fulfilled. I need more answer to my undying questions.
  "Honey you should go out and hang with friends, I haven't seen you leave the house once in three weeks." My mom says, placing her credit card on the countertop.
  "Like I have friends to " hang" with," I reply.
  "What do you mean by " hang" with." She said with air quotes.
  I cross my arms, "What I mean is teenagers don't " hang out". They smoke pot, drink alcohol and try to fuck everyone."
  "You don't need to be like that Abigail. I promise next year you'll find someone who views the world as you do, but positively not negatively." She then walks out the door to work.
  She was right, I hate to admit. I haven't left the house since summer started, because I had no reason to. I spend my summers wishing my life was better but just never did anything to change it.
  I into the living room and dreadfully fall onto the lilac carpet. It was probably ninedy degrees. Most teens would go to the lake, spend their days hanging there and with friends doing the most wreckable thing possible. I don't know what makes people want to hang out in the burning hot sun with hundreds of strangers swimming in pee filled water and getting sunburnt while doing it. I've always enjoyed swimming, but I rarely go the chance to do so. I could go to the lake, but I like swimming during the middle of the night. Where no ones around to watch you and you can truly enjoy the bliss of the water. Not being able to reach the ground while the moon lights up the water. Swimming isn't a hobby of mine, its one of those special occasion things for me.
  My thoughts are interrupted by the vibration of my phone going off. It wasn't a notification of someone liking my picture on Instagram, in fact, I was surprised to see I had gotten a text from an unknown number.
  "I'm sorry," was all that it said.
  The last time I had gotten a message from an unknown number, was when a guy had asked me for nudes. Wich was only a couple of weeks ago.
  I text back "sorry for what, who is this and what do you want?"
  I quickly get a reply, "sorry I should have said that this was Liam." So he did get my number when I slid it under the door. "I'm sorry for what happened, for yelling at you the way I did."
  "Well, I'm glad you're sorry because you really did hurt my feelings."
  "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, I just get overwhelmed with emotions and they turn into anger."
  I was happy to hear that he didn't really mean anything he said. But that will never change the fact that he said it. "Why didn't you just come over and tell me, you know where I live."
  "I told you its best if we stay away from each other. I'm not taking that back. What about you though did you really mean anything you said to me?"
  "Of course not, I just wasn't gonna take shit from a guy. As long as I said something back I was satisfied." Liam takes a second to write back.
  "You're not like other girls, your not petty. You just left it at that when most girls would go online and start a petition for me to kill myself, then spread some stupid rumor around the school."
  I'm honestly glad that he took a little bit to write that. I was starting to feel butterflies in my stomach again and I didn't even realize that I had asked Liam what he was doing later until he replied. "Abby we seriously can't be friends, I just needed to get that guilt off my back before I went insane. It's especially dangerous for you to be near me right now."
  "why is something wrong?"
  "Stop, don push yourself into my life it will only hurt you."
  "I wasn't, you just seem so hurt and I just wanna help you."
  "I'm not gonna lie to about of things are wrong and I don't think I can help myself anymore."
  "what's that supposed to mean?"
  That's when Liam stopped answering me. I know I shouldn't have felt it but a pile of guilt was built up in my stomach. It was that weird feeling as if something terrible was happening or going to happen.
  I could have just let him be, but I didn't.  I ran as quickly as I could to his apartment. No way was I gonna let this idiot tell me what to do. I walk into the hallway and put my ear up against his door knocking on it.
  "Liam opens up, it's Abby. Your not just gonna push me away like that if something is wrong I can help you." I hear something crash against the wooden kitchen floor and shatter.
  "DON'T YOU FUCKING DO ANYTHING, PLEASE LEAVE." He screams as if getting murdered.
  "That's not how this is gonna work, I wanna help you, I get your situation is complicated but now that I know about it I can help you." I try convincing to the bone. Liam doesn't reply and I try opening the door. It was unlocked. This idiot doesn't want me in his life and yet he forgets to lock the fucking door? 
  I open it slowly and walk in, with the little caution I had dwelled up in my thoughts I try walking in the living room first. But he wasn't there. I tried checking his room but it was locked. I quickly run to the kitchen and grab a knife unlocking his bedroom door. Swinging it opened I see Liam huddled up in the corner of his messy room. I see him take his hand and clench his figures on his throat dragging them down and so deep it almost sounded like he was touching his bones. He let go of his throat and coughed small chunks of blood onto the floor. He looks at me with his dark flood colored eyes filled with lust. I look at his throat and within a matter of seconds, his deep scratches turn back into skin. "Abby." Liam grunts coughing up more bloody chunks. "Go." His eyes may have been red and deadly but he still showed desperation and sadness.
  At this point I didn't care if he was gonna do something bad to me, seeing other people in pain has always killed me. I can't stand looking at perfect people and seeing how they can be so hurt. I run over to him and grab his hand, interrupting him from scratching his throat again. "Please Liam, I'm begging you to tell me what's wrong," I say practically hugging him. With my arms around his somewhat muscular body, Liam studders to explain.
  "I haven't." He coughs. "Eaten since the." He coughs again. "Since the accident with you."
  "You haven't had blood since the night you almost killed me." Reassuring that I understood why he was saying. I feel Liam nod his head slightly and he grips onto my selves trying to resist his urges. I lift his head and speak softly. I told myself a long time ago that my goal in life was gonna be helping other people the way I can. This could be my moment to help someone for a while.
  I look at him with a serious look, "kill me." I command.