Save me from myself

13

Gerard POV
I know it was wrong to not to class like that. For Christ sakes Im a teacher now! I get off the floor and go to my classroom when I see a sub teaching the class I decide to just go home.

When I get back to my mom's house(because I haven't set up my bed at my apartment yet and I'm sure as hell not doing that now)I lay down on the couch. I look at the ceiling and as soon as frank roams into my mind I start crying. I know I'm acting like a teenager who's boyfriend cheated on her but I thought me frank could actually be friends. I felt we connected like him and Suse. "Im so stupid!" I yell at myself between sobs.

"I don't know who you are but you better get out!" I heard a sick Suse yell from the top of the stairs. "Oh shut up." I say. " Excuse me!" I hear her yell and then stomp down the stairs and into the living room. "you better watch who your talking to.....Gerard? What the hell are you doing here?" Suse says looking surprised and confused. Shit what do I tell her? " I uh, think you got me sick. So I left early." I say mentally patting myself on the back.

"Oh ok,well uh sorry." She says turning to walk away."you know what I'm so not sorry I thought there was bugular downstairs you dick wad. you couldn't of told me you were home!" Suse says with anger. "I'm sorry suse I just didn't want to talk." I say.  I Get out from under the blanket and look at her for the first time. "Damn gee you look like shit, I mean I don't even look as bad as you." Suse says sitting in the arm of the couch eyeing my red face and poofy eyes. I snort to myself, my eyes filling with tears again. "Gerard I didn't mean to offend you I I I was just saying u u j just don't look t to good." Suse says tumbling over her words. "no it's not that." I say assuring her. "then what's wrong gee?" Suse says concerned.

"Nothing important." I say, I mean its not like I could tell her truth without telling her why it upset me so much. "I didn't get you sick did i?" Suse asks piecing together why I look way worse. I shake my head. "no." I simply say, more tears running down my cheeks.

"Look I know your sensitive but I haven't seen you like this since...." She trails off looking at her hands. "hey," I say sitting up and putting my hand on her shoulder.

"Don't get upset." I say knowing that this was my fault. "I know that's what you say but it's hard. " Suse says a single tear running down her cheek.

"I know it's hard I didn't mean for that to come up. I miss him to." I say trying to comfort her while also trying not to cry myself. "I know I wish mom would talk about it though it really makes me upset that she pretends nothing happened. " She says wiping away the tears that fell from her eyes. " I know Susie, it's really hard for her I mean they were married for song long and suddenly he was gone." I say. "I know it's just been so long and neither of you will talk about him and I just want...." Suse trails off hopelessly.

I pull Suse onto the couch and into a hug. "I love you Gerard. I'm sorry I get like this over it still it's just. " "Hard, I know." I say inturpting her. "exactly." Suse says with a little smile. "I'm gonna go take a nap." Suse says getting up from the couch. " Are you sure, I mean like are you ok." I ask before letting go of her hand I grabbed when she tried to stand up. "Yeah I'm fine. Are you?" She asks. "yeah I'm okay. Enjoy your nap." I say letting go of her hand. " Oh i will" suse says turning and starting up the stairs. With that I'm all alone,again.

I stare at the ceiling. Thoughts of frank invading my mind. I mean really he was right. Just because him and Suse were friends didn't mean he cared about me and didn't mean I had to care about him, but I did.

I mean it wasnt his fault I liked him. Maybe somehow he knew and that was his way of saying fuck off you don't have a chance you perv. He probably doesnt even like guys. Wait how could I forget, when I brought him home he came out to me. Was i the only one who knew. If so that had to mean he didn't completely hate me, right?

I decided I couldnt think anymore about this because I was all of a sudden extremely tired. I slowly drifted off to sleep song lyrics filling my head.

I wakeup with the sound of a doorbell ringing in my ears. "it's for me!" I hear Suse yell. "but your sick." I say rubbing my eyes. " It's okay,frank knows." She says going to the door. "shit, frank!" I say under my breath. I grab my shoes from the floor and attempt to run to the stairs. "Gerard where are you going?" Suse says stopping me a few feet in front of the door. Of course I had to go past the door to get to the stairs.

"You can at least say hi." Suse says right before opening the door giving me no time to run away.

Frank. We make eye contact. I feel a sudden wave of something wash over me.anger. I'm angery at him. I tried to help him and what do I get,screamed at and cursed out. I didn't deserve that. I wanted to help him. I glared at him and stomped off. I went up the stairs and slammed the door of my bedroom behind me.

A/N 1014 words yay. I feel like that's a lot but idrk I've never written anything. But hope you're liking it.