Stay With Me || Lashton ||

37

Luke's POV

A disgusting wave of nostalgia washed over me when I walked into the hospital room. Ben was lying on the bed, hooked up to machines and wires and he looked so fragile. My legs were moving slowly as I walked closer to my injured brother. His head was in bandages and his arm was in a sling. His face was nearly unrecognizable under cuts, scrapes and bruises making me sick to my stomach. I can't lose Ben like this too.

My mother moved faster than I did and gripped onto Ben's hand, placing soft kisses to the exposed skin. Her tears have been pouring ever since she arrived into Portland and I haven't spoken a word to anyone. I'm too numb. I feel like everything in my body has shut down and might never work again especially if I lose my big brother. Jack was following behind my mom and wiped at his face as he took a seat on the chair in the corner.

I was so sick to my stomach and I couldn't make my feet move any further. I couldn't be here. I can't see my brother like this or hear the countless beeps and whooshing of the machines telling me Ben is barely hanging on to life. I won't sit here and watch him die like I did with my dad, I just can't. I started to breath heavily and back towards the door with everything distancing itself from me. My mom was too occupied with crying and looking at Ben to notice that I bolted from the room.

I started walking fast at first but when I got past the nurses station I took off in a sprint. I barely even noticed my friends sitting in the waiting area as I continued to run for the door. I heard footsteps from behind me so I pushed my legs even harder to get away from whoever was chasing after me. I needed to be alone now. The automatic doors slid open and I took off into the cold February air with whoever it was still on my tail.

"Luke where are you going?" Ashton's accent called out behind me and I kept running. "Luke!" I called again and I stopped abruptly and turned around to face him.

His face was full of worry and he walked closer to me but I took a step back. I didn't want Ashton's comfort right now I wanted the cold air to carry me away to a better place. A place where history wouldn't be repeating itself in such a vicious fashion.

"Ashton please go home." I pleaded and Ashton stopped dead in his tracks.

"W-what?" He stammered and I could see the hurt etched into his perfect features.

"Just go home, I don't need you here." I said and my voice shook involuntarily. I couldn't look at him anymore so my eyes trailed down to the concrete between us.

"Luke why are you saying this?" He asked and I scoffed. Like he'd know what any of this is felt like.

"Just leave." I said sternly and a tear rolled down my cheek. This is what happened when I was scared, I pushed people away I just never thought it'd be the person I loved most.

"No, I'm not going anywhere. I know what it's like to go through this alone." He said and took a step forward to try to close the distance between us.

"How would you know what this was like? Your dad killed himself." I spat and Ashton went stiff. I saw his breathing slow and he looked towards the ground then anywhere except to me.

The silence following was painful and I really wished I wouldn't have said that to Ashton. He looked so small and frail but I couldn't help what came over me. Fear makes people say things they regret. Tears were streaming down my face now and Ashton showed no emotion except for his fingers tugging at his hair.

"You're right. You are so fucking right Luke but you know what? I'm not going to be like my father. I'm not going to walk away from the people I care about, I refuse. So go ahead and try to push me away but I'm staying right here. I'm not going to be a fucking coward like he was Luke. I love you too damn much to walk away when you need me the most." Ashton was now shouting through sobs and his burning eyes were on me. I shook my head and ran into his arms.