Stay With Me || Lashton ||

43

Luke's POV

I can't do this. We go on in five minutes and I can't do this. There are so many people waiting to hear us play and I know I'm going to mess up. I've retreated to the bathroom just off stage and I've lost count of how many times I've thrown up. I've never been this nervous in my entire life. So much is riding on this and I can't afford to fuck this up for everyone.

The news of Ashton leaving is also weighing heavy on my chest. I'm doing my best to forget that he's even going but it's too hard to forget. How am I going to live without him? With that thought, I threw up again, well I attempted to but I have nothing left in my stomach. I let out a strangled groan and wiped my mouth before falling back against the stall.

"Luke?" Ashton's voice called out to me through the squeaking door and I tried not to wince at his voice. I'm going to miss his voice so much.

I managed to climb to my feet and open the stall door to a concerned looking Ashton. I pushed past him to wash my face in the sink but when I looked up our eyes met in the mirror. The familiar hazel eyes that I'd fallen for so damn hard and only exist with Ashton Irwin.

"Are you okay?" He asked, moving towards me to move my hair away from my forehead.

"I'm fine, just a little sick to my stomach." I lied. I'm not fine.

"Are you alright to go on? We are on in three." He asked with a pout which made me smile a little bit. It's impossible to be mad at him.

"Yes, I'm ready to rock." I lied again but Ashton giggled anyway. He grabbed my hand and I wanted so bad to pull away but I couldn't bear to do it. The way his warm hand felt against mine was always so damn comforting, what am I going to do?

We were ushered onstage and we all took our places. There were so many people but not enough to full the entire place thank god. I couldn't imagine selling this place out, it's huge. I adjusted my mic while the other boys got ready to play too. Michael and Ashton won and we were playing Beside You but we added a bit more rock flare to it. We started and the room instantly silenced. Calum took his cue to start the verse and I tried not to feel the tiny pieces of my heart breaking even further.

I never understood that this song would relate to Ashton and I. Originally I wrote it about my dad but it's taken on a whole new meaning. I was choking down tears once my part came around. I closed my eyes and sang with all my heart.

When we both fall asleep

Underneath the same sky

To the beat of our hearts at the same time

So close but so far away

Then we rocked into the chorus but I couldn't help the tear that slid down my cheek. I glanced back to Ashton who was drumming in his own world but the way his face was scrunched I knew I was feeling what I was. By the time we hit the guitar solo I was falling apart. I managed to sing the rest of the song without my voice cracking but this was by far my most emotional performance. I watched the crowd that was so in tune to what we were playing and I felt a little better.

I wish I was, I wish I was

Calum finished and I ran off stage. I took off my guitar and placed it with our cases before I took off running. I had no idea where to go but when I burst through the door to the blinding sunlight it didn't really matter. Just as I was about to take off down the sidewalk, a hand grabbed my wrist. Thinking it was Ashton I spun around and pushed him away, only to see a confused Calum.

"Luke, you can't just leave." Calum said and like that I was angry.

"Neither can Ashton but he's doing it!" I shouted through a sob.