A Fanfic You Can't Sweat Out

Intermission

Patrick knocked on the door to Pete's house nervously. He had been over many times before but he always felt nervous with excitement, knowing he would see his boyfriend in his natural environment. The door opened and Pete lent awkwardly against the doorframe, trying to look cool even though his eyeliner was obviously only half-reapplied.
"Hey, Patrick," Pete said, shooting him a pair of fingerguns and falling against the doorframe. He righted himself, laughing nervously under his breath.
"Hey, Petey." Patrick let himself in, following Pete to his room. His eyes fell on a box sitting in Pete's closet labelled 'love of my emo, prematurely-ending life.' "Oh, I remember this."
"Remember what?" Pete glanced at the box. "That?" Patrick nodded, kneeling next to the box and opening it. He pulled out a scrapbook and opened it to the first page, a diary entry.
"Let's read it."
"No."
"Please?" Patrick whined harder than Take This To Your Grave Patrick. Pete sighed and knelt beside him.
"Fine."

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It's a Side Effect of The Cocaine.
I was out with Mikey today. I guess it was a date or something but it didn't really feel like it. He's just Mikey. Sure, he was the first guy I came out to but like, whatever, I'm not really that into him. We went to a book store for some reason and Mikey started talking to the cashier whose name was something, like, Ray or something. I got bored, obviously. Like, what's the deal with books, anyway? So, I went over to the music store next door. I wanted to go look at the four-stringed guitars but I was distracted by some guy wearing black socks and a hat playing the drums. I pretended to be looking at the drum set but I think we both knew I wasn't looking at that. I think I recognise him from school but I'm not sure. I asked him for his name and he introduced himself as Patrick. We talked about music and books. He's so well-read and intelligent! I bought a few books he told me to read.
I didn't think love at first sight was real. I guess I can call him a friend now, since we talked for basically the entire day. I hide behind my words but I'm definitely coming out to him.

Favourite Record.
I met up with Patrick again today. I drove over to his house by myself, even though I don't have a license. He was already outside, waiting for me. He goes to my school, by the way. He's friends with this weirdo with a split-personality, Breadbin. Patrick deserves better. He skipped over to me and got into the passenger seat. He asked me if I have a license and I said 'no.' Why did I say that? God, he makes me so stupid sometimes. But, he just nodded silently and said he trusted me to keep him safe. I swear, I felt my heart melt away. I drove him to the river, going past Weezerspring middle school on my way. Patrick sat down on a tree stump on the small beach. I couldn't take my eyes off him. He's so beautiful. I want to protect him. We talked for so long that twilight hit, not that either of us are vampires or anything. That sounds like some weird fanfiction Gerard would write. We got into the car and I drove him home under the purple sky. He didn't get out immediately when we reached his house. Instead, he looked over at me. He was blushing a faint pink. He's so cute! He told me he thinks he, like, likes me and then he crumpled into a ball beside me, blushing profusely. I told him I liked him too and he uncurled, a smile taking control of his face as he got out of the car. I can't wait until I see him again...

Nobody Put Baby in The Corner.
I've been seeing Patrick more and more recently. I went over to his house a few times last week and just cuddled and watched old movies. I don't really have much to say other than the fact that I'm really happy for once. He makes me feel like I matter, like I'm a good person because he thinks I'm worthy of someone as amazing as him. I want to lay in his bed all day. I want to spend all my time with him. I don't care if we have to keep it a secret because he's not out yet. I'll be his best-kept secret.

Sophomore Slump.
I think I'm in love with Patrick. I feel jealous of Breadbin when Patrick spends time with him. I want to spend all my time with Patrick. I get angry when people call him Pat or Patty instead of Patrick because he doesn't like it when they do that. I'm so confused all the time. I know it's just a matter of time before we're all found out but I don't ever want this to end. He's the love of my life, I can feel it. I kissed him for the first time a few days ago in his room. He blushed so cutely that I just had to fix his glasses and kiss his nose. I couldn't resist. He makes me lose all control and I'm totally fine with it.

The (Shipped) Gold Standard.
I'm definitely in love with Patrick. I told him I loved him when I was sleeping over at his house and he kissed me, telling me he wished he had the option to say he loved me back. I pulled him close and I cried into his shoulder. I never let anyone see me cry but he makes me feel safe and vulnerable enough to feel like it's okay. I love him. I really love him. Why won't he just say it back? I need him to say it back so I don't climb to the roof of our school and scream at the tøp of my lungs lungs lungs that I love him. I wouldn't do that to him, of course. I can't say 'I love you' to him without being afraid that someone else might hear. The sad thing is that I'm not even afraid for myself. I guess love means you put the other person's needs before yours or something but it's so inconvenient sometimes. I wouldn't choose to fall for someone else, though. Patrick is the one I want. I can't even picture myself with anyone else anymore. They always turn into him because he's the only one for me.  I know he is. There's that weird story about the red string that connects you to your soulmate and I may not be able to see the string but that doesn't mean it doesn't connect us. He's so close, so why does he feel so far sometimes?
I'm in love and it's tearing me apart but I'm totally fine with it.

Saturday.
I'm ready to end my life. My life isn't going anywhere. I don't have a purpose. I'm going nowhere fast but the thing is, I do have a purpose and his name is Patrick Martin Stumph. Nobody wants to hear me talk about tragedy but he listens to me. He cares about what I say. He gives me a purpose and makes me better. How could someone like me ever win over someone as amazing as him? He is the happiness in the misery of my life. I'm writing this as he sleeps beside me. He's so cute when he sleeps. He's so cute when he gets mad. He's so cute all the time. Here we are in the wake of Saturday and I don't care what comes tomorrow as long as he's beside me. He's stopped hanging out with Breadbin but he doesn't really like to talk about it. I'm just glad I can have him all to myself and protect him from the cruel world around us. He truly is all I've ever wanted.

Golden.
Patrick finally came out to his parents and is ready to be out in the open about our relationship. I'm so proud of him but I'm also scared for him. The world's a cruel place for people like us and he's such a soft little cinnamon roll that I'm not sure if he can face it. His parents will come around to it, even if they're not particularly happy about the situation right now. Fellow students won't care, except for the ones who wanted to be with me because I'm popular or whatever. Some of the teachers might mark him down like they mark me down but he's so smart that he'll always get A's even if he's marked down. Sure, mothers will raise their babies to stay away from us but I'll be there to support Patrick when he's disheartened by anything the world throws at him. I'm going to keep him safe and happy, no matter what it costs. I'm never going to let us end up washed up and broken down. Even through all this drama, I know I'd do it all again. I think he's my best friend, that is, if kisses on the necks of best friends is allowed. I'm sorry that every entry is about him but he's the only thing I care to write about. He's the only thing in the life of the hand behind this pen that isn't a failure relived every day. I don't know when I'll write again. I don't know what I'll write. The only thing I know anymore is my semi-sweet cinnamon roll boyfriend. I don't need to know anything or anyone else. He is my reason to keep going in the midst of all these thoughts telling me to stop. He's the love of my emo, prematurely-ending life.

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Patrick put the book down, the smile on his lips lighting up his entire face. He lent over and kissed Pete's cheek.
"I love you, Petey," he said quietly. Pete pressed his lips to Patrick's, pushing him down so that he was lying on the ground with Pete above him.
"You know I love you," Pete said quietly, his voice shaking a little. He met Patrick's gaze, holding it. "Is this okay?"
"It's more than okay." Patrick nodded, pulling Pete down to kiss him.

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Author note:
No smut for you, Trashy Pineapple and others
This is still mostly Not Fxxk
I'm not sorry for the Golden reference
There'll be Ryden next episode
Also,

Pete ain't a fruit machine
He's gotta keep his credits clean
Good things come to those who wait
But he ain't in a patient (this ain't a) phase (mom)