A Different Divergent

~fourty-one~

Chapter 41

I wake nestled close up against Tobias, his arms wrapped protectively around me, feeling every hard muscle of his body against my backside, just like a set of spoons in the utensil drawer. I feel the steady rise and fall of his chest telling me that he's still deep asleep. I don't move to see what time it is, trying to avoid waking him up. I'm afraid one little move will cause him to spring out of bed and into action because he's been hovering a bit this week.

In the middle of the night Tuesday morning, I woke up feeling absolutely dreadful and had to abruptly wake Tobias to have him take me to the bathroom before I got sick in the middle of our bedroom. That would have been really bad. He wanted to immediately take me to the infirmary but I convinced him that it was just a bug, and I would feel better in a couple of days. I spent the whole day Tuesday and Wednesday curled up on the couch with the quilt wrapped tightly around me like a cocoon with a bucket on the floor in front of me. At first I just had the fuzzy gray throw covering me, which normally is warm enough but he finally brought the quilt downstairs when he could no longer stand the sound of my teeth chattering together. For once I was actually thankful for the doctor-imposed house arrest. It was bad enough that we ended up cancelling our plans to make Christmas cookies on Tuesday night and dinner with Will and Christina on Wednesday night but since I was already at home recuperating from my fall, it didn't disrupt the work schedule.

I managed to go through approximately 30 of the inactive files Monday afternoon. I probably would have gotten to more of them but one minute Tobias was across the room in the kitchen asking me what sounded good for lunch, watching me flip absent-mindedly through one of the files, and the next we were upstairs making love. That was one of the most pleasant lunches I've ever had and no food was served. Unfortunately, getting the flu has put a kink in our love life, and even though I'm tangled up in his arms at this very moment, I miss him desperately. He has flipped a switch in me, activating something deep down inside I didn't even know existed. Christina was right about the emotional side of sex changing you. It has definitely changed me. These new emotions are overwhelming and all consuming. I don't even know how to explain it. I just know that I love him desperately.

I feel Tobias stir behind me. He pulls me closer, if that's possible, and sighs. I lie perfectly still in his arms trying not to wake him further if he isn't ready to get up. After a while I can tell he isn't going back to sleep, and I turn in his arms and look up at him.

"Good morning," I say.

"Good morning," he replies, kissing my forehead. I'm sure I'm not supposed to know he's checking my temperature but I do. "How are you feeling this morning?"

"Much better, thank you. How are you feeling? I haven't given anything to you have I?" I ask. He hasn't had so much as a sniffle but we both would like to keep it that way.

"I feel fine. After I brought you to bed last night and you fell asleep I got up and washed everything downstairs with the bleach solution and sprayed the couch like the infirmary suggested." Even though I talked him out of taking me to the infirmary, he insisted on calling them. They informed him there was in fact a bug going around Dauntless, and the best thing for it was rest and plenty of liquids, which I was already doing. They also told him to wipe all hard surfaces down with a special bleach solution and spray an aerosolized disinfectant on all soft surfaces daily. They also told him to wash all the bedding as soon as I started feeling better.

I run my free hand slowly up his arm, just letting my fingertips trail along his skin. I notice his already dark blue eyes darken further. When I reach his shoulder I move my hand up to his head and pull his mouth to mine. It's been far too long since I've felt his lips moving with mine. He kisses me for a long moment before pulling away breathless.