ruin - Jordan Connor

chapter one

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Living in Vancouver was great, I loved it. It was a place I called home for years and it seemed like since I moved here things were okay. When I was just turning 14 my parents decided that a job offer in Vancouver would be a fresh new start. Originally I was from Cleveland and I missed it there but living here was different. A good different.

My mom and dad work together and travel a lot. When they told me about moving I obviously assumed we wouldn't be there long; I was wrong. We decided to stay home and they wanted to take time off of work and be a family.

Flash forward 10 years later and I'm regretting staying.

" C'mon Emily, you don't actually think it would be a bad idea do you?!"

" Lili, just because your an actress doesn't mean I want to be one."

"I understand that,but do you really want to be working at a diner for the rest of your life?"
Before moving around more my parents thought that staying for a while longer was a better idea. Vancouver is where my family decided to settle down. We have been here ever since then. I was most sad about leaving my middle school best friend, Lili Reinhart. When I moved we were both upset but we managed to keep in contact all these years.
"My job at Jameson's Diner is only temporary until I can find a decent job that pays at least eight dollars an hour."

" Yeah I know you tell me that all the time." Lili rolled her eyes "but the writers of the show are looking for another serpent character for season 2 and I've read the script! You would be perfect for the part, Emily."
"Plus if you audition and get the part your character has a love interest." She smirked.
"We have been over this so many times and I know that you don't even care about me getting the part. You just want an excuse to talk about Keaton. Plus, I don't need a new job and I certainly do not need a boyfriend. I already have one and he's amazing."

"I know, I know. But I'm not saying you'll 'find love' or anything. I just think it's time for you guys to go your separate ways. I mean seriously you and Keaton have been dating since the beginning of eighth grade and he is the ONLY guy you have ever been with. He's a good person Em, he is. But do you think he's ever going to be ready to settle down?"

I sat there quietly and confused not knowing what to say. "I don't know."

She gave me a sympathetic look for a brief moment before turning back to the tv.

---------
"Hey this is Keaton's phone! I'm sorry for missing your call but I'm probably busy... Guess you should just leave a message and I'll try to answer later on. Bye..."

Beep

"Hey Kea ! I know you out having drinks with the guys but I need to talk to you, call me back. I love you. Bye."

I don't know if this is the right thing for me to do. Keaton and I have been together for so long and I do love him. But Lili is right. I can't keep pretending that I don't want more. Kea is great, I guess I'm just used to the same old thing. Nowadays it seems like he's making more time for his friends and I hardly see him. I get that he needs guy time or whatever but I only see him at least a few hours out of the week and we live together!

It's just not the same I guess.

————-

"Hey Em, how was your day?" Keaton came home happy and full of energy but I knew that wouldn't be for long.

"It was good. I just uh.. did you get my message?"

"I did." He nodded "You seem worried and upset. Is everything fine?"

At this point I thought Keaton really did care and maybe he wanted more just like I did. I want to be with him for the rest of my life but I don't know if he does too. We live together and K and I are practically married anyways. We've been together for years. It seemed like it was time to move forward.

"Yeah it is. It's just that when Lili came over yesterday to hang out we started talking. She told me that her show needs another character and thought I would be perfect." I was fidgeting around and couldn't keep eye contact with him for more than two seconds. "You're kidding, right?!" Keaton exclaimed.

"Well not exactl-"

I couldn't read the look on his face but then I knew how he truly felt after he spoke a few words. "You are not seriously going to audition are you?"

"Well I mean it is a good paying job and you haven't really been home often to help out with the bills. It's not that bad." I replied

"What are you talking about, Emily?" K was so oblivious to how I was feeling and I couldn't hold it in any longer.

I decided to avoid the question and ask my own. "Do you ever think about marriage or children?"

"I mean yeah. Sure, I guess. It's not a big deal, we are going to wait until maybe you get your shit together though, right?" He asked bluntly.

"Excuse me?" Now I was just a ticking time bomb and either way I was going to explode sooner or later. "Get MY shit together?" I began.
I could feel myself about to burst out into tears. For years I thought this man loved and respected me. I wasn't what he wanted or needed but it wouldn't be so bad to keep trying.

"I basically own this apartment since you don't think paying rent is so much of a priority. You haven't had a stable job because you are constantly getting fired for going in late and taking days off, Keaton. You aren't here most of the week and I barely see you anymore. You're always at bars with your friends getting drunk until someone passes out. So maybe I don't need to get my shit together, YOU DO."

It was silent for a moment before I continued.

"For so long I have wanted you to give me a ring and say you want to spend the rest of our lives together, grow old, have kids and just be happy. Maybe I'm thinking too far ahead but I just can't stop picturing us both at an alter saying I do's. I know we're young but I thought we were ready for something bigger than us. So tell me... what do you want?" I asked with pleading eyes.

" I want a break, Emily." Keaton answered.

"We should have broken up a while ago. This is just too much. It's like you're rushing into things that I'm not sure I'll be ready for in years! I'm leaving and I'm sorry that things have to end this way but it was going to happen sooner or later. I love you, but I have to go." He got up from his seat and walked towards the door.

"No! Don't go Kea I'm sorry, I'm so sorry! I won't talk about it anymore, I promise. Please just stay." I begged.
I know a while ago I was yelling at him but I didn't want us to end things. I guess I was curious as to why K didn't want things to get a little more serious than they already were.

"Em, if I stay, you'll end up leaving and I can't let that happen." He said.
This confused me because why would I leave him? I mean I'm begging for him to stay so I don't see a reason for leaving if he chooses to stay.

He blinked and looked around the room for a few seconds before taking a seat on the couch. "I cheated." He stated "It was a one time thing and I-"

"Get the hell out of my house."
~

hey guys! :)So this is a new book and I'm really exited to share it with all of you! This is the first time I've ever written but hopefully it's not too bad. -j