Into The Shadows

Fourteen

 I had finally broken the boy, I was sure of it, he began to act much less like a captive as the days went on, we started talking like friends which I was grateful for. It had been so long since I'd had a real conversation with someone, at least as long as Hwayoung had been gone.

Suga and I shared how lonely we both were and I learned that he wasn't truly stuck up. He only acted that way to protect himself from the world that would surely tear him apart if he knew how weak and afraid he was.

We started having meals together, since it was better than eating alone, and after meals we would talk. One day after dinner we were discussing what love would feel like.

"I think love would feel warm and safe. Like that person is a part of you." He said after a few moments of silence.

"Come on, how can you even think you know what love is when no one has ever loved you?" I replied, half jokingly.

"How would you know, then? You said you've never experienced love either." He shot back. He was right, and it genuinely hit a nerve. Even if I wanted to it wasn't something I could experience, Hwa-young had tried to show me, but I never quite grasped it.

Emotions have been a dull sensation for me most of my life. It's not like i couldn't feel, but it was like the world was dull and filtered. It'd been this way as long as I could remember, even if Hwa-young was by my side.

"Here. I don't need this anymore, since everyone thinks you're dead" I said after another few moments of silence between the two of us, handing him his cellphone, "no one would believe it was you anyways, even if you tried to contact someone."

He responded with a quiet "thank you" as I laid back comfortably on the cot with which I had replaced the original mattress a few days prior.

"Do you want some new clothes?" I offered. He seemed surprised and hesitant at the question but agreed after a moment of thought. With this I'd left to get him his own clothing.

It was bad enough that I'd given him my most comfortable sweatpants for the time he'd been here thus far, so I wasn't giving him more of my clothes.

I decided to go to a mall I know that had some high end clothing stores, and with my career I can stand to spend decent money on quality clothing, even if it is just for my pet. It would be better to make it look as though I was shopping for myself anyway.

I visited several of the stores and purchased nearly an entire new wardrobe for the boy before I'd noticed how many bags I had and decided to head home.

.........

He made no effort to hide the shock on his face when I returned with the bags of clothing, it clearly wasn't what he expected, I emptied the clothes onto the cot explaining that he'd be here for a while and that I'd rather he look at least partially presentable, even if it was just around me. He was my pet, and no pet of mine should ever look that grungy.

He sorted through the clothes for a while until he found an outfit he liked, but he hesitated to change in front of me, I was sure he wouldn't try anything, but just in case, I watched him. I couldn't risk anything. After moments of hesitation he finally accepted it and changed behind his bedsheet. I laughed and I left the room, it was still so entertaining to watch him squirm.

I washed the sweatpants with my laundry that night. They were filthy after being worn nonstop for weeks and I only hoped I could get the stench of a boy who hadn't bathed out of them without having to burn them.

While my clothes were in the wash I decided it was a good time to take a break from everything and look through some more of Hwa-young's things that she had left behind.

I made my way to the attic where her things were and sat on the floor in front of a large box wit her name on it. I pulled several things out of the box including numerous awards from various medical associations.

As I sorted through the awards I found one that caught my eye. The plaque read: "Cosmetic Surgeon of the Year: Jeon Hwa Young"

That couldn't be right, she was supposed to be saving lives, she gave her all to help people. There was no way she could possibly be vain enough to encourage something like that.

I could feel my brain tearing itself to shreds. I was losing my mind. I couldn't believe that she would feed into the very thing that took her away from me.

I pulled my knees to my chest and buried my face between them, taking my hair in my fists, I screamed. I didn't know what else to do. She couldn't be like that. How dare she be evil? How dare she hide that evil from me? I felt an intense anger I'd never felt in my life. At that moment whatever small amount of faith I had in humanity as a whole drained out of my body in a flood of anger and sorrow, and I decided my mission would not end here. More than ever I felt the world needed to be purged- and this time I wouldn't do it alone.

Suga was an empty shell now, and I knew I could manipulate that. He now had a purpose, a way I could use him. He was my puppet to control, and that's exactly what I needed to continue my mission.