Hide Me (Ryan Fletcher)

Hide Me

Jessie:

My vision was blurry - my eyes were filling up with tears, salty water spilling over the edges and running down my face. I could just tell that my mascara was trailing down my cheeks but I couldn't really find the energy to care. For the past half an hour I had been driving. Not in any particular direction, just away from that place. I needed to do something and my car was the first thing I had seen. It was either drive or sit in a heap on the pavement.

Sniffling, I realised that driving probably wasn't a good idea anymore, as I couldn't really see through the ocean of salty water pouring from my eyes, but I was miles away from my home and it was already becoming dark and gloomy. Seeing a stopping area on the side of the road, I pulled over and unlocked my phone - ignoring the missed calls and voicemails from the two people I used to trust with my life - and dialed the number I have known off by heart for most of my life - my best friend Joel Peat.

We had met in our 5th year at school - I was the new girl yet again in a new school full of people who all had their separate friendship groups and didn't want to talk to me. I was bullied pretty badly for about a year, until one day, Joel had been walking past as Tilly (the girl behind all of the snide comments and mean taunting) had been teasing me about my shirt. He had walked right over to us and grabbed my arm, smiling at me and muttering something about wondering why I hadn't shown up for lunch. He was the first person to properly talk to me. She left me alone after that, and we had been inseparable since then.

As soon as he answered, he knew something was wrong. I guess it was kind of obvious due to the fact that he knew me better than I knew myself. Well, that and because I couldn't really talk through the violent sobs racking my body.

"Jessie, what happened? Why are you crying? Are you okay?" his frantic voice echoes through the speaker.

I could hear the sound of music and the hum of voices in the background and figured that he was probably at a club somewhere. He was in a band called Lawson, and they had just returned home from the American leg of their 'Everywhere We Go' tour, so they were probably celebrating that.

Feeling incredibly guilty for interrupting their party, I managed to mutter "Oh, don't worry, I'm fine really! Just calling to see how you're doing, but I can tell you're busy so don't worry!"

Knowing that he would see right through my attempt at fake happiness, I crossed my fingers and hoped that, just once, my lies would slip past his detection and his night wouldn't be ruined due to me.

"Jessie, stop trying to lie to me. You know your voice goes up when you try to make stuff up!" he replied.

Well damn. I couldn't tell him what had really happened. He would kill Will and - as much as I hated the guy - I didn't wish that on anyone. I'm becoming way too good at lying to myself.

"My voice didn't do anything Joel, because I'm not lying!" I claimed.

"Then why are you crying?" he quickly shot back.

There wasn't really much I could say in response to that. Not unless I wanted to end up relaying the events of the night, and it was still too raw.

Realising that my silence meant I didn't want to talk about it, Joel made an educated guess. "Will. What the hell did he do? I'll kill him I swear!" he muttered.

"I'm fine Joel," I repeated "I just don't really want to go back there right now. But I'll be fine. Don't worry." I said, in the happiest voice I could muster.

Hoping he would believe me and enjoy the rest of his night, I leant my head against the cool window of my car and stared into the night. It was really dark now; all the cars had their headlights and the streaks of red and white blurred together due to the water still clogging up my eyes.

"Jessie I said quit lying! How about you crash at our place for a couple of nights or something?" He murmured. "I can leave here and I'll be there in 20 minutes?"

No! This was going so wrong! I didn't want him to leave early because of me and my stupid emotions. It had been ages since I could remember crying like this. I literally never cried.

"I might just take your offer, but you stay exactly where you are. You are not leaving anything for me! I know where the spare key is - I'll let myself in and I'll be gone in the morning." I decided.

Knowing he would attempt to argue with me, I quickly hung up the phone before he could reply. Catching sight of my reflection in the glass, I realised that I had to compose myself before I started driving again. Taking a few deep breaths, I focused on building a wall around my heart. If this messed up night had taught me anything, it was that people leave. They may not do it intentionally - they may do it just to rip you to pieces, but I could do something to stop it happening to me again. I could stop trusting people. Maybe then, I wouldn't expect them to stay. Maybe it wouldn't hurt so much when the eventually walked out of my life.

Feeling slightly lighter now, I managed to calm myself down and decided that I was okay to start driving again. Pulling out into the road, I navigated the familiar route towards the house that Joel shared with his bandmate Ryan. I had become so accustomed to driving this way that it was almost automatic - turn off at that road, take the third exit on the roundabout. It was strange though - I've been so close with Joel for so long, but I have only met the other lads a handful of times. When I asked him about it, he mumbled something about not wanting those idiots to do something stupid. He had given himself the role of a protective brother when it came to me - he always felt like he should be stopping any harm coming to me. I always wondered where they went when I came over, but I guess they were out or something.

Slowly coming to a stop, I parked my car outside the house that was as familiar to me as my own. The tall trees and bushes kept it pretty much hidden from the fans that were desperate to discover when their idols lived. But they had the sweetest fans. They called themselves Geese and were fiercely loyal to the lads. The best thing about them though, was their no-hate policy. It was almost as though, when you joined the fandom, you were required to leave any hurtful feelings at the door. I think when they first started getting bigger, all of the lads were terrified to reveal their various girlfriends, but the geese all seemed to accept them and treated them so nicely!

Braving the cold night air, I ventured out of the warmth of my car. Quickly, I almost ran up to the porch, jumping as the automatic light turned on. Stretching onto my tiptoes, I somehow managed to touch the top of the doorframe and ran my hands along the top of the wood. My fingers found the metal key that was kept up there for emergencies and I grasped it, pulling it down and fumbling to fit it into the lock. With a click, the door swung open and I tiptoed into the living room, being careful not to disturb anything. The inside of the house looked exactly as you would imagine - especially considering the two boys living there were the messiest people I knew. Steering myself around a pile of unopened mail lying on the floor, I eventually made it to the couch.

Raking my hands through my hair, I dropped my bag on the floor and lay down. Using my hoodie as a blanket, I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.

{Author Note}

Hey! If you're reading this then thanks :)