Only Time Will Tell

Goodbye Tyler

 I sat on the same couch cushion as I did at the movie night, the evening where everything began between us. He sat two cushions away this time, not wanting to get closer to me. I knew what was coming, but I was a bit in denial. I had an ounce of hope that this was just a hunch and that we would watch another movie or have a deep conversation. But my hunch was correct. For the first time in a while, I wanted to be wrong, very mistaken.

"Jade, this shouldn't be happening." He began in a low voice as if he was forcing the words out of his mouth. I knew what he was talking about even though he had barely any details.
"But why would you end it?" I asked, looking for reassurance in his dark eyes, but found none.

"This isn't what I wanted."

"I thought you wanted me!" My voice was shaking.

"You think I don't?! Of course, I want you," He took a long breath, mentally preparing himself for what he was going to say next. "But I can't have you, however he can."

"I'm over-"

"No, you're not. I was stupid to think that I could have you. I was stupid to think that you'd get over Jake, and I was stupid to think that you love me."

I had no words, I just looked at the floor and nodded. I knew he was right. I was nowhere near over Jake, which was pathetic but true. Even though I didn't love him, tears were in my eyes. I had feelings for him, they just weren't as strong as they were supposed to be. They probably never would've been if we had continued this. 

"Before I say goodbye, I just want you to know that I...I would die for you, even though you wouldn't do the same for me."

I looked at him in disbelief. I knew that he had fallen for me, but not that deep. I wished that he didn't, I wished that he never saw me. If he never met me, then he never would've gotten hurt. I had this feeling of guilt for letting it get this far, that took me over completely. 

"I love you, Jade, I really do. But you deserve to have him."

Tears were in both of our eyes, but I knew that he was making the right choice, that me agreeing with him was the best option. 

"There's a chance that you like me, but you love Jake. And I will never be mad at you for choosing someone else. Goodbye."

At that, I couldn't stop myself. I ran out of and slammed the door behind me. I had never wanted to get in my car that badly before in my life, and I had never run out of any place. This was all so foreign to me, that I just didn't know how to handle it. No one ever broke up with me before, but only because I had never been in a really serious relationship before. 

As I drove away, a single tear fell down my cheek, and it hit my jeans, slowly spreading across my thigh, becoming the first tear in a long time.